I often wonder…how would I bring up my grandkids today? Certainly differently than their parents when they were growing up in the 1970s and 80s. I parented them with optimism because the future showed so much promise and possibility. Only later on did I come to realize that I did my kids a disservice by not preparing them for the derailing truth that we citizens can’t always trust what our elected representatives say, much less those we trust the most.

As (grand)parents, we want to protect our kids’ innocence and teach newer generations to emulate leaders and ideal citizens…those who know what’s real and what’s not, who will stand up for what’s “right” and just, freedom, equality and opportunity for all – the basic tenets of the American way…

I clearly remember the day my son told me “I’ve seen the Wizard (of Oz)!” I knew instantly that his innocence was gone. Even as he brings up his young family now, he too carries the torch of hope and possibility for them but knows not to trust wizards.

And so it goes, we keep keepin’ on. Until one day when the Wizard is thrown out of the magical castle for being a fraud! It’s time we cleaned out all of our castles and towers. Don’t you agree?

A few weeks ago New York Senate’s Dean Skelos and his son were arrested on corruption charges.

In another notable failure of integrity and leadership, look to J. Dennis Hastert, the former elected official who, for eight years, held the title of Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives (third in line to the presidency, I might add). This current Washington Lobbyist was said to be an upstanding role model, yet has just been indicted by federal prosecutors on charges that he violated banking laws (and lied to authorities) in order to pay $3.5 million to an unnamed person to cover up “past misconduct.” Though innocent until proven guilty, reports suggest this was hush money paid to a man Mr. Hastert is alleged to have sexually abused decades ago.

Then there’s the unraveling FIFA disaster and the final shoe dropping with FIFA president Sepp Blatter resigning as its head after a 17-year career. That career has ended in infamy due to a U.S. Justice Department corruption investigation for wire fraud, racketeering, and money laundering.

The congressional castle is truly turning my stomach these days. It’s past time to vote out all the self-serving wizards choosing hatred and power abuses above actual leadership and democratic representation.

In late December, before heading into surgery, I heard the tiny news snippet that twisted up my insides: how at the 11^th hour the Arizona senators had slipped a mickey in our holiday drinks so those in congress and the country wouldn’t even notice their trickery.

Arizona has the second-largest Native American population in the U.S. with 22 sovereign Native American communities inhabiting nearly a quarter of the state’s land. As the longest currently serving member of the Senate Committee on Indian Affairs, Arizona Senator John McCain is said (on his own website) to have “tirelessly supported the bedrock principles of tribal sovereignty and Indian self-governance and self-determination.”

If I took those words at face value, I would automatically believe that this elected politician was an admirable American role model. A leader enabling the “American Dream.” A hero rectifying the wrongs done to a people who were the country’s original citizens who taught the “founding immigrants” how to survive and thrive on this land before being systematically undermined and devalued by those very same newcomers they had welcomed.

But actions speak louder than words.

As it turns out, Mr. McCain is one of several politicians whose behaviors have included sneaky actions that continue stripping Native Americans of sacred lands, areas of our planet they have sustained for centuries with reverence and care. Lydia Millet shares the latest abomination in her NY Times opinion article, “Selling Off Apache Holy Land.”

In December 2014, Congress promised to hand the title for land in Arizona to a private, Australian-British mining concern owned by the company Rio Tinto, who has coveted the area for the high-value ores beneath the land. “A fine-print rider trading away the Indian holy land was added at the last minute to the must-pass military spending bill, the National Defense Authorization Act. By doing this, Congress has handed over a sacred Native American site to a foreign-owned company for what may be the first time in our nation’s history.” Who slipped the giveaway language into the bill? Senators John McCain and Jeff Flake of Arizona. At the 11th hour.

Millet further suggests “It’s worth noting that Rio Tinto affiliates have been McCain campaign contributors, and that Mr. Flake, before he made it to Congress, was a paid lobbyist for Rio Tinto Rössing Uranium” (a huge uranium mine in Namibia of which, according to The Huffington Post, Tehran owns a 15 percent stake). And, apparently, Rio Tinto “has been called out in the past for environmental devastation.” Taking local citizens’ lands and livelihood to personally benefit from a foreign-owned company with ties to Iran? Degrading the environment, which has unhealthy repercussions for us all?

I’m outraged, horrified, and ashamed. Who are these elected representatives representing?

One last word on words… Corrupt political-speak isn’t the only way in which falsehoods are propagated. In my work transforming how we approach aging, I often address the language we use to describe being and growing older (e.g.: past blog posts Language Matters, Deactivate Office Ageism, and Words are Power). It’s important that our actions match our words. Just as essential is knowing that what we say and how we say it matters.

I’m stymied about what to do to reverse the rider other than venting and spreading the word. Do you have any ideas on how we can make this happen?

We know it’s not all bad news…what examples of integrity (and situations in which carefully chosen words were followed by matching actions) have you recently witnessed or been a part of?

In her Huff Post 50+ article, Women Over 50 Are Invisible? I Must Have Missed The Memo, Erica Jagger asks “Here’s an if-a-tree-falls-in-the-forest question: if society didn’t tell older women they were invisible, would older women still feel invisible?” She shares her surprise at another over-50 writer’s depressing acceptance/submission to the idea that women of a certain age have little value or appeal.

When something is invisible, it is unable to be seen, unobservable, the opposite of detectable, obvious, visible. Sometimes, as in films, comics and other media, invisibility happens through magical means (or like the Wizard of Oz, simply with the aid of a curtain) and can be a desired state.

I address this timely issue and perspective in my forthcoming newest book, The Ageless Way, as evidenced in the italicized excerpts below:

One of the biggest fears we have about aging is of becoming invisible, irrelevant to the world. Women, who are valued for their appearance first and foremost in our society, tend to feel this diminishment more acutely than men as they age.

The negative side of being invisible is clear to most of us. The world no longer seems to notice or care about us or what we have to say. We seem to lose our voice because no one is listening. Sometimes, we don’t even use our voice because we don’t believe we’ll be heard, so why bother? Being invisible contributes to the vexing problem of low self-esteem, robbing women of the confidence they need to stand up and make a difference.

But there is a positive side to being invisible, as Doris Lessing captures so eloquently, “And then not expecting it, you become middle-aged and anonymous. No one notices you. You achieve a wonderful freedom. It is a positive thing. You can move about, unnoticed and invisible.”

Lessing had it right that there is a power to being able to work behind the scenes and make change without worrying about our own egos. We have the ability to go with the flow of nature, of life, and the profound opportunity to influence others to make earth-shattering changes without anyone even realizing we are doing so.

Thus, we women must step forward today and act on our power to make a difference—through our votes, purchases, leadership, vision, and yes, entrepreneurial success. Striving for meaningful, sustainable, and profitable success is necessary if we are to have the resources and power to lead significant change—at any age and for all ages.

 The challenge is to balance the invisible and the visible, to know when we need to work behind the scenes and when we need to speak up and be heard—be present. We need to learn how to marry our invisible power with our visible, visionary leadership.

 We need to lead the way toward women being a powerful presence for change without losing the invisibility required to effect that change. I suggest we start by recognizing the power of invisibility in the first place and understanding that to be invisible doesn’t mean to be inadequate or without value or voice—just the opposite.

 Invisibility is inherently powerful. By understanding and learning how to use this power, we will begin to see more clearly the times when stepping out of the shadows will make remaining in the shadows the only way to shine a light on a future that matters, to all of us.

 In what circumstances have you felt invisible? Most visible? When have you best balanced being visible and invisible?

(NOTE: If you want to learn more about The Ageless Way, or to order an advance copy, please contact me at Karen@KarenSands.com)

(Image Credit: Photo by Clarita on morgueFile).