There is a children’s book, entitled Are You My Mother?, in which a baby bird is born while his mother has gone to get some food for his arrival. Because she is not there when he emerges, he goes in search of her, asking the title question of the animals and machines he encounters. Along the way, he discovers none of them are his mother, a fact confirmed when he is reunited with her at the tale’s end. In this story, none of those who the bird questions are his mother. In our lives, though we come from our “birth mother” (some who stay present in our lives, some who don’t…), we all have the potential of being mothered by many people.

Not every woman gives birth to a child, but every woman, at some point in her life, has done some mothering – whether caring for a youth, an aging parent, friends, colleague, a pet, or even forming a business, idea or movement.

I lost my mother to the ravages of Alzheimer’s when she hadn’t even reached her sixth decade and I was just about to enter my third. That immense loss fueled my search for positive role models, women who were examples of growing older in Ageless ways, as well as women who could offer the wisdom and nurturing inherent in the role of mothering another.

It was the community of the feminist movement that transformed my life. From and with these women, I learned who I was at my core, was encouraged to break through my perceived limitations, and began to envision my aspirational future. I found my voice as a woman and became part of a network that crossed generations. We all learned from those who mothered us so we could connect with, usher in, and empower, the next generation who, in turn, now offer insights and new ways of nurturing based on their own experiences. Each generation of those who mother others literally and figuratively births the next generation.

We mother at different ages, though the experience and wisdom that comes with growing older enhances what we can offer. Even consider the word grandmother, which references a parent’s parent or an elderly woman in a community. How wonderfully atypical – a welcome change from the usual ageist language – that the word GRAND indicates largess, having more importance, a recognition of our capabilities as we age. And let’s not forget the oldest mother of all: Mother Nature/Earth, who offers the land we live upon, whose air we breathe and whose food offers us comfort and survival.

I used to scoff at the contrived aspects of Mother’s Day until I became a grandmother and saw it as a time to honor my maternal lineage. Now, years later, I continue decades-long work on expanding how I mother by focusing on transforming our culture’s approach to growing older. This Mother’s Day, in honor of past lineage and future generations, I invite you to join me in birthing a new story about aging, a way for every one of us to mother ourselves and each other in order to reach our full potential and ensure lives of deep significance, purpose, and contentment.

 What experiences have you had that exemplify what it is to “mother” another?

With more people living longer, active lives, we are at a historical crossroads in which the demographics of business environments are shifting. It’s time to drop the narrative that persists about Boomers vs. Millennials battling over jobs, being on different planes or coming from opposing perspectives. It’s time to undergo the complex transformations necessary to modify our connections, attitudes, and work environments to create, as in our best relationships, “great chemistry.”

No transformation is inevitable, however. It is up to all of us, together, to shape the changing workplace for a future which will benefit workers of all ages (hence society as a whole), one, as I discuss in my soon-to-be-published book, The Ageless Way, that is focused on the Triple Bottom Line of people, planet, and profits.

I see signs of this trend toward intergenerational cooperation developing, such as in the egalitarian digital future laid out in Dan Abelow’s book Imagine a New Future: Creating Greatness for All. Despite such progress, however, we need to keep moving forward with unity of intent and purpose, since life and society “can change on a dime.”

I believe multigenerational age-friendly trends are worth developing and will result when we all work together based on common interests and visions for the future. A future that has a place for all of us is one with more genuine connections and fewer artificial barriers, such as those based on age, gender, race, and class stereotypes.

For starters, we can:

~ engage in collaborative multigenerational conversations, hands-on discussions about best practices, (mis)perceptions, inclusive decision-making that supports all ages;

~ explore alternative scenarios and solutions together based on the probable and preferred future, not the past;

~ look at intergenerational partnerships, such as job sharing/mentorship arrangements (which enable two people to be employed instead of one, combine training costs and salary, stretch a company’s dollar and quicken the pace at which younger employees can gain the skills, knowledge, and some experience they need to be more valuable to that company and the marketplace);

~ cultivate environments in which diversity and work-life balance are key (Whether we want that balance because we’re starting a family or because we want time to visit our established families, the outcome is logistically the same. Work locations and hours must be increasingly flexible for everyone, without penalty);

~ encourage people over 60 (and in fact those 40+) to remain employed by starting their own businesses – as encore entrepreneurs (These could be less complex solopreneur home offices or larger operations that would not only remove the competition for the same job between two generations, but would also generate employment, services, and products relevant for healthful, fulfilling lives).

The world in which we are living and working longer demands a new business model to serve consumers, our culture, and our workplace environments. By working together, we can solve, or at least ameliorate, multiple societal problems simultaneously through the specific social missions of companies serving multiple generations. No doubt the formation of more startups focusing on the Triple Bottom Line will have a significant positive effect on the job market, offering a way for all generations to make a living and a difference, and to secure their future and that of the world for generations to come.

Again, it’s the chemistry that matters. Together, we are stronger and can share our skills, knowledge, and creativity to discover more than “just” a new molecule. We can discover — we can create — new worlds. Together, we can engage in interactions that generate reactions which change the story around aging so that we model the new Ageless Way across generations.

In what ways is your company, or another business you are familiar with, already mastering the art of intergenerational collaboration? How are you doing this in your own life?

(Image credit: test-tubes-color-fluid.jpg by r.nial.bradshaw, Flickr.com)

Marco Rubio recently announced his run for the presidency of the United States. In his statements, and in what is clearly being interpreted as a snub to Hillary Clinton, he suggested that we do not need “a candidate of yesterday” and declared himself a “generational choice.” What does it mean to want to nullify both history and the experiences of a person who has lived longer (to say nothing of her diverse experiences which have inspired women’s leadership on a global scale in what is known as “The Hillary Effect”)? How does someone who claims to want to be the leader of the free world act so dismissively about the fastest growing population (those over 65), which, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Administration for Community Living numbered 39.6 million in 2009 and is anticipated to reach over 72 million by 2030?

In the past, I’ve written about my shock upon hearing from clients, colleagues, and even family members, that Hillary Clinton is too old to run for president in 2016. Yet, when I press for an age that is “too old,” no one is able to answer me. Why? There is no such age. The myth that there is has its roots in views and expectations about aging that have gone unquestioned for decades, perhaps centuries. Many of us even parrot it to ourselves when we are anxious to take a leap into something new. It does not seem to be changing even as we live longer, healthier, active lives to unprecedented ages. We rarely think to question it, yet when we do (as I have done with the Clinton example above), we find it falls apart. Ageism has no basis in reality.

Of course, Hillary Clinton’s age is not the only issue here. There’s something else emerging from the shadows. Both genders experience ageism, but for women the bigotry is especially potent. Ageism is always mixed with and strengthened by sexism. Unfortunately, both are embedded in society’s story about aging and women…in our story. No matter our political stance, age, or gender, we have all internalized this narrative to some degree.

In a show on Sirius XM Satellite Radio, host John Fugelsang and guests discussed bracing for the likely ageism and sexism which will accompany Clinton’s candidacy. Their comments included foreseeing the racism concerning the Obama presidency being replaced with sexism, increasing disparaging remarks about Clinton’s age (despite the irony of her being the same age as Mitt Romney or the fact that Ronald Reagan was older when he became president and served two terms) and more focus on, and constant judging of, her appearance (her suits, glasses, and hairstyles…), which happens rarely, if ever, when considering male candidates.

Despite cultural gains regarding treatment of women (after all, before 1920 we didn’t even have the right to vote…), the continuing sexism, workplace discrimination, and crimes against women are staggering. Even though many issues go under-reported, statistics substantiate the issues women face across the globe, such as The United Nations Development Programme’s information that 3 out of every 10 women report having experienced violence by an intimate partner and, globally, women hold less than 22% of parliamentary (hence decision-making) seats. It also remains indisputable that women still make less than men for the same work. In fact, that issue remains so prevalent that an annual “holiday” was created; Equal Pay Day aims to draw attention to the additional number of days women have to work to earn the same money as men earned the previous year.

It’s time to change the story we tell as a society and the story we tell to and about ourselves. For women, especially, the old misogynistic story about aging is a powerful weapon against us, no matter our age, stage or cycle, a mis-story that starts when we’re young, in how we view older women, and only builds from there, preventing us from realizing the potential for greatness that ripens as we age. We owe it to ourselves and to generations to come to step forward visibly and be not who we should be as we age but who we can be.

And here’s to an election cycle in which we all consider who to vote for with civility and without discriminating against any candidate’s gender, party, age or race.

What experiences have you had with ageism and/or sexism and how have you resolved them? Do “-isms” create schisms?

(Image Credit: Photo by essygie)