There is a children’s book, entitled Are You My Mother?, in which a baby bird is born while his mother has gone to get some food for his arrival. Because she is not there when he emerges, he goes in search of her, asking the title question of the animals and machines he encounters. Along the way, he discovers none of them are his mother, a fact confirmed when he is reunited with her at the tale’s end. In this story, none of those who the bird questions are his mother. In our lives, though we come from our “birth mother” (some who stay present in our lives, some who don’t…), we all have the potential of being mothered by many people.

Not every woman gives birth to a child, but every woman, at some point in her life, has done some mothering – whether caring for a youth, an aging parent, friends, colleague, a pet, or even forming a business, idea or movement.

I lost my mother to the ravages of Alzheimer’s when she hadn’t even reached her sixth decade and I was just about to enter my third. That immense loss fueled my search for positive role models, women who were examples of growing older in Ageless ways, as well as women who could offer the wisdom and nurturing inherent in the role of mothering another.

It was the community of the feminist movement that transformed my life. From and with these women, I learned who I was at my core, was encouraged to break through my perceived limitations, and began to envision my aspirational future. I found my voice as a woman and became part of a network that crossed generations. We all learned from those who mothered us so we could connect with, usher in, and empower, the next generation who, in turn, now offer insights and new ways of nurturing based on their own experiences. Each generation of those who mother others literally and figuratively births the next generation.

We mother at different ages, though the experience and wisdom that comes with growing older enhances what we can offer. Even consider the word grandmother, which references a parent’s parent or an elderly woman in a community. How wonderfully atypical – a welcome change from the usual ageist language – that the word GRAND indicates largess, having more importance, a recognition of our capabilities as we age. And let’s not forget the oldest mother of all: Mother Nature/Earth, who offers the land we live upon, whose air we breathe and whose food offers us comfort and survival.

I used to scoff at the contrived aspects of Mother’s Day until I became a grandmother and saw it as a time to honor my maternal lineage. Now, years later, I continue decades-long work on expanding how I mother by focusing on transforming our culture’s approach to growing older. This Mother’s Day, in honor of past lineage and future generations, I invite you to join me in birthing a new story about aging, a way for every one of us to mother ourselves and each other in order to reach our full potential and ensure lives of deep significance, purpose, and contentment.

 What experiences have you had that exemplify what it is to “mother” another?

“Solitude is fine but you need someone to tell that solitude is fine.” ~ Honoré de Balzac

In my June 22, 2015 Ageless Beat blog, “Alone Doesn’t Mean Lonely….” I spoke about how we all may experience loneliness and, though it may seem ironic, sometimes it’s beneficial to spend time alone doing something nurturing to ease that sense.

In addition to finding comfort on your own, another way to overcome loneliness is by spending time with each other. There are many ways to find community and connection, whether you prefer the company of one other or many others. Below are some of the ways I have learned (and helped coaching clients) to diminish any suffering that can accompany the feeling of loneliness.

~ Make time and be fully present to nurture current relationships you feel are worth keeping, and consider letting go of those which are draining or negating. It’s easy to know which are which, just check in with your very real body messengers and trust your gut. Rather than e-mailing/texting, experiment with having more interactions over the phone (or Skype or Facetime with those at a distance) or, better yet, meet in person.

If it wasn’t for today’s technology I’d have no real relationship with my new grandkids living in Arizona. It’s the same even with my two elementary school grandkids here in the east. When they are involved with sports and birthday parties or I am engaged in business and travel, which prevent our biweekly visits, Facetime saves the day.

~ Consider volunteering. Whether you like working with animals or are seeking human interaction, volunteering for an organization (or giving in another way, like cooking a meal for someone in need) can be a great way of being with others while also doing something philanthropic.

~ Become active with an organization or group to meet others while engaging in fulfilling activities, such as: classes in exercise, art, quilting or crocheting, music, history, geography, technology, business, etc.; book groups; environmental, religious, political organizations or a professional group of your peers. MeetUp.com is one online way to find groups. Local newspapers and magazines often list events that may interest you.

~ If you are online, you can check out websites like Boomerly.com, which offer a means to connection for like-minded friends and travel companions, as well as potential romantic partners. Don’t forget your LinkedIn groups and expanding your connections on Facebook and others.

~ Check out retreats with your favorite guru or authors. Join a women’s group or a yoga center.

~ Make an appointment to speak with a ICF certified coach, licensed therapist or clergy.

~ How often do you interact with different generations? This can be a great way to inspire new connections and insights. Create an intergenerational group in your local community center or offer mentoring within your company or professional organization. Go to concerts where younger people abound.

~ Participate in online conversations like this one – offer your comments and suggestions below and let’s make this journey on The Ageless Way even better!!

The world is full of others who are seeking others… The more all of us explore, the better chance we all have of finding each other and reducing loneliness and becoming happier AND healthier.

 How would you describe what loneliness feel like? What techniques do you use to cope with, or overcome your loneliness?

(Image Credit: circle of friends by maveric2003, flickr.com)

With more people living longer, active lives, we are at a historical crossroads in which the demographics of business environments are shifting. It’s time to drop the narrative that persists about Boomers vs. Millennials battling over jobs, being on different planes or coming from opposing perspectives. It’s time to undergo the complex transformations necessary to modify our connections, attitudes, and work environments to create, as in our best relationships, “great chemistry.”

No transformation is inevitable, however. It is up to all of us, together, to shape the changing workplace for a future which will benefit workers of all ages (hence society as a whole), one, as I discuss in my soon-to-be-published book, The Ageless Way, that is focused on the Triple Bottom Line of people, planet, and profits.

I see signs of this trend toward intergenerational cooperation developing, such as in the egalitarian digital future laid out in Dan Abelow’s book Imagine a New Future: Creating Greatness for All. Despite such progress, however, we need to keep moving forward with unity of intent and purpose, since life and society “can change on a dime.”

I believe multigenerational age-friendly trends are worth developing and will result when we all work together based on common interests and visions for the future. A future that has a place for all of us is one with more genuine connections and fewer artificial barriers, such as those based on age, gender, race, and class stereotypes.

For starters, we can:

~ engage in collaborative multigenerational conversations, hands-on discussions about best practices, (mis)perceptions, inclusive decision-making that supports all ages;

~ explore alternative scenarios and solutions together based on the probable and preferred future, not the past;

~ look at intergenerational partnerships, such as job sharing/mentorship arrangements (which enable two people to be employed instead of one, combine training costs and salary, stretch a company’s dollar and quicken the pace at which younger employees can gain the skills, knowledge, and some experience they need to be more valuable to that company and the marketplace);

~ cultivate environments in which diversity and work-life balance are key (Whether we want that balance because we’re starting a family or because we want time to visit our established families, the outcome is logistically the same. Work locations and hours must be increasingly flexible for everyone, without penalty);

~ encourage people over 60 (and in fact those 40+) to remain employed by starting their own businesses – as encore entrepreneurs (These could be less complex solopreneur home offices or larger operations that would not only remove the competition for the same job between two generations, but would also generate employment, services, and products relevant for healthful, fulfilling lives).

The world in which we are living and working longer demands a new business model to serve consumers, our culture, and our workplace environments. By working together, we can solve, or at least ameliorate, multiple societal problems simultaneously through the specific social missions of companies serving multiple generations. No doubt the formation of more startups focusing on the Triple Bottom Line will have a significant positive effect on the job market, offering a way for all generations to make a living and a difference, and to secure their future and that of the world for generations to come.

Again, it’s the chemistry that matters. Together, we are stronger and can share our skills, knowledge, and creativity to discover more than “just” a new molecule. We can discover — we can create — new worlds. Together, we can engage in interactions that generate reactions which change the story around aging so that we model the new Ageless Way across generations.

In what ways is your company, or another business you are familiar with, already mastering the art of intergenerational collaboration? How are you doing this in your own life?

(Image credit: test-tubes-color-fluid.jpg by r.nial.bradshaw, Flickr.com)