Ageism can involve assumptions about, or preferential or discriminatory treatment of, someone based solely on their age. Although the word can apply to people of all ages, the negative stereotypes of aging speak to a sense of deterioration or impairment and, though not based in truth, often become part of our sub- or unconscious and accepted as fact. This kind of dismissiveness of anyone is unfortunate for everyone.

Some ageist attitudes include “jokes” or comments mocking those “over the hill” or asserting it’s impossible to find love or have an active sex life over 40. Or the phrase “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” despite there being centenarians who are learning computers or taking up a new language. Has a doctor ever brushed off your query about a medical issue with the attitude that it’s just part of growing older and, “well, you aren’t 20 anymore…”? Or told you, as a 40+ woman, that you should have a hysterectomy to remedy a problem without asking if you wanted any more (or any) children? Do you know anyone over 40 who was passed over for a job or promotion despite being the most qualified candidate? Certainly, some people will be more capable than others. But this is true no matter what a person’s age. If you take 20, or 100,000 people, whether they are 18 or 90, or any other age, each is an individual and will have unique needs and challenges which should be considered accordingly.

Though ageism happens on many levels, all too often when we hear about such discrimination it regards the workplace. Age-based professional bias still happens – a lot — despite the fact that there are federal and state laws meant to prohibit such discrimination. In 2014 alone, there were over 20,000 charges filed under The Age Discrimination in Employment Act (ADEA, eeoc.gov/eeoc/statistics/enforcement/adea.cfm). The ADEA is a federal law created in 1967. It protects individuals ages 40 and older, making it unlawful, for example, for an employer “to fail or refuse to hire or to discharge any individual or otherwise discriminate against any individual with respect to his compensation, terms, conditions, or privileges of employment, because of such individual’s age.” (www.eeoc.gov/laws/statutes/adea.cfm; More workplace fairness information can be found on sites like www.workplacefairness.org).

In a Forbes.com article, “The Ugly Truth About Age Discrimination,”  Liz Ryan discusses how being older and having more experiential wisdom can work in your favor. She provides this tip regarding job interview preparation; “Here’s the flip side of the age-discrimination challenge: if you know what business pain you solve and can talk to hiring managers about that pain, they can’t afford to care how old you are.” Ryan further explains that “Job-seekers who use their interview air time to ask questions about the processes, the obstacles in a hiring manager’s way and the thorny problems they’ve seen before in similar situations vault themselves to a higher level of conversation than the ones who don’t.”

For those of you who know you have much to contribute, yet no longer want to work for another boss, the statistics are in your favor. In fact, as I talk about in my #1 Amazon best seller book, The Ageless Way, the 40+ market is perfect for a new encore entrepreneurial start-up, the opportunity to change ageism into Age-Friendly while making a profit. Rather than staying in repressive, stultifying positions with a silver ceiling looming, more and more workers (particularly women who have endured long-standing conflated ageism AND sexism) are standing in their own shoes and starting their own businesses, often as solopreneurs.

Regardless of where we are in our professional lives and whether we work for someone else, are our own boss, or do not currently work, we can all play a role in pushing the edge of the envelope. We can all work toward exposing and eradicating embedded fundamental ageism and make positive change happen by turning the aging paradigm inside out.

Those of you familiar with my work will recognize my clarion call to unite and create a new story of our AGE. Your story about who you are in the world can determine your choices and whether your journey will lead to action or inaction, stagnancy or movement toward greater fulfillment. And there’s no need to agonize over what that means or make the simple more difficult. If you trust in life’s dynamic process, it will all continue to unfold as you age, and learn, and keep refining that story.

As Julie Andrews sang in The Sound of Music, “Let’s start at the very beginning — A very good place to start…” Words will always be at the root of your story, whether right now or in the future. Starting today, pay close attention to the words you use to describe yourself and others, consciously changing them, if needed. For example, whether thinking about shifting something in your professional or personal life, just replace the cultural stereotype of “It’s too late for you. You’re not credible unless you are young and beguiling!” by confirming your personal awareness that “My experience, my talents and intelligence, and my unique perspective, make the timing perfect for me to act now. I know how to focus on what really matters. All great visionaries have wrinkles.” Hopefully, though this will be only the first step of many, taking it will ensure that the next step will be that much easier.

What ageism have you experienced or witnessed in life? Was it ignored or addressed? Please share your stories in the comments below.

In decades of work as a leading GeroFuturist aiming to transform the story around our culture’s approach to aging, I have often spoken and written about this issue. I continue to assert that a large and vital part of our new boldly vibrant story is dependent upon the language we use to define and describe growing older — to ourselves and others, and by those who serve and market to us. When we change or redefine the terminology we use in those descriptions, we change the perception, truth, and dynamics of getting older across the lifespan (for twenty-year-olds, as well as centenarians – and everyone else in between…).

It may sound simple, but it’s not easy. So how do we integrate individual and cultural mind shifts in order to change the “languaging” around adult development and growing older? Something has to give! A perfect example of misplaced, yet commonplace, labeling as we grow older is referring to Baby Boomers as “seniors.” I can assure you that those of us over 40 don’t relate to that at all. In fact, it makes us cringe and run in the opposite direction. Yet, “senior centers” across the country continue to bemoan and wonder why Boomers aren’t banging down their doors for “senior” services and community-building.

We clearly need new terminology to help shift the paradigm. We need a full expression of the affirmative, powerful, and even juicy aspects of aging. Old dismissive stereotypes do not consider the reality of those of us entering or beyond midlife as capable of being fully active physically, socially, mentally and professionally (to say nothing of the fact that the over-40 crowd is the largest adult consumer demographic and, thus, worthy of priority marketing and product development focus). Manifesting such transformation, as with all vital historic movements, will take patience, determination, effort, awareness, intention, time and acceptance.

As is the case with so much in life, there is not just one way to think about growing older or the terminology around that process (a process which will happen to all of us lucky enough to live “to a ripe old age”). My vision for the new story of our times is rooted in an approach toward aging that is “Ageless.”  At this juncture, this word may mean different things to different people.

A retired literary professional recently shared with me that when she hears the term “Ageless” she thinks of it as dismissive of aging, since it seems to infer wanting to avoid looking or growing older. I see the term in a different way, as being age-affirming. Ageless, Ageless Aging, Agelessness (and timeless) to me are all about transcending age at any age… all while owning our chronological age …whether 30, 40, 70…101. Agelessness involves not being defined nor limited by our chronological age at the same time as welcoming/embracing whatever age we are.

Agelessness is about transcending our limited, dismissive and insufficient attitudes toward aging so that we see ourselves and each other as whole and precious parts of a larger evolution with many births, rebirths, endings and new beginnings…no matter what our age or life stage. This does not mean we deny our aging. Instead, being Ageless and embracing The Ageless Way is evidence that we, at every age, own the vitality of life within us and our value, and remove the limits culturally placed on our youth and our elderly.

I feel so strongly about the importance of boldly shifting our definition of the word Ageless (as it applies to Ageless Aging) and proclaiming it as central to our new story of what it means to grow older, that I have titled my upcoming book The Ageless Way.

So, together, let’s re-cognize the abilities inherent in growing from youth to midlife to becoming an elder. Rather than seeing Agelessness as working against the fulfilling life all of us can envision for ourselves, our communities, our world, we will move forward with that word as a testament to our ability to surpass the heretofore ingrained and perceived limitations of aging. Will you join me on that journey?

What does being “Ageless” mean to you and what is your reaction when you hear that word? What are some words associated with growing/being older which no longer have any bearing on the NEW story of our age?

Marco Rubio recently announced his run for the presidency of the United States. In his statements, and in what is clearly being interpreted as a snub to Hillary Clinton, he suggested that we do not need “a candidate of yesterday” and declared himself a “generational choice.” What does it mean to want to nullify both history and the experiences of a person who has lived longer (to say nothing of her diverse experiences which have inspired women’s leadership on a global scale in what is known as “The Hillary Effect”)? How does someone who claims to want to be the leader of the free world act so dismissively about the fastest growing population (those over 65), which, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Administration for Community Living numbered 39.6 million in 2009 and is anticipated to reach over 72 million by 2030?

In the past, I’ve written about my shock upon hearing from clients, colleagues, and even family members, that Hillary Clinton is too old to run for president in 2016. Yet, when I press for an age that is “too old,” no one is able to answer me. Why? There is no such age. The myth that there is has its roots in views and expectations about aging that have gone unquestioned for decades, perhaps centuries. Many of us even parrot it to ourselves when we are anxious to take a leap into something new. It does not seem to be changing even as we live longer, healthier, active lives to unprecedented ages. We rarely think to question it, yet when we do (as I have done with the Clinton example above), we find it falls apart. Ageism has no basis in reality.

Of course, Hillary Clinton’s age is not the only issue here. There’s something else emerging from the shadows. Both genders experience ageism, but for women the bigotry is especially potent. Ageism is always mixed with and strengthened by sexism. Unfortunately, both are embedded in society’s story about aging and women…in our story. No matter our political stance, age, or gender, we have all internalized this narrative to some degree.

In a show on Sirius XM Satellite Radio, host John Fugelsang and guests discussed bracing for the likely ageism and sexism which will accompany Clinton’s candidacy. Their comments included foreseeing the racism concerning the Obama presidency being replaced with sexism, increasing disparaging remarks about Clinton’s age (despite the irony of her being the same age as Mitt Romney or the fact that Ronald Reagan was older when he became president and served two terms) and more focus on, and constant judging of, her appearance (her suits, glasses, and hairstyles…), which happens rarely, if ever, when considering male candidates.

Despite cultural gains regarding treatment of women (after all, before 1920 we didn’t even have the right to vote…), the continuing sexism, workplace discrimination, and crimes against women are staggering. Even though many issues go under-reported, statistics substantiate the issues women face across the globe, such as The United Nations Development Programme’s information that 3 out of every 10 women report having experienced violence by an intimate partner and, globally, women hold less than 22% of parliamentary (hence decision-making) seats. It also remains indisputable that women still make less than men for the same work. In fact, that issue remains so prevalent that an annual “holiday” was created; Equal Pay Day aims to draw attention to the additional number of days women have to work to earn the same money as men earned the previous year.

It’s time to change the story we tell as a society and the story we tell to and about ourselves. For women, especially, the old misogynistic story about aging is a powerful weapon against us, no matter our age, stage or cycle, a mis-story that starts when we’re young, in how we view older women, and only builds from there, preventing us from realizing the potential for greatness that ripens as we age. We owe it to ourselves and to generations to come to step forward visibly and be not who we should be as we age but who we can be.

And here’s to an election cycle in which we all consider who to vote for with civility and without discriminating against any candidate’s gender, party, age or race.

What experiences have you had with ageism and/or sexism and how have you resolved them? Do “-isms” create schisms?

(Image Credit: Photo by essygie)

First, the fundamentals. Tinder, for anyone unfamiliar with the name, is known as a popular dating app that you can download to your phone or other technological device (like an ipad or ipod touch) and search through photos and brief descriptions of people in your local area who you might want to meet. You can swipe each photo either left or right, depending on whether or not you find the person attractive. If a person also shows interest in your Tinder information, messaging is enabled and you can begin chatting and take it from there.

A newly created paid version of the previously free app, called Tinder Plus, has now been launched. In this new premium addition, users can undo an accidental swipe, which in the past would have meant that information was lost. Additionally, there is a Tinder Passport function, which apparently will let users change their location to navigate between not only those who are local, but others in destinations around the world, as well.

What’s causing a stir is that this new premium edition comes at a literally higher cost for people over a certain age.

Tinder is one of over 150 brands (along with OKCupid.com, Chemistry.com, Ask.com) owned by IAC, a media conglomerate chaired by Barry Diller (IAC.com). According to a March 2, 2015 All Tech Considered blog by Sam Sanders on NPR.com (“Tinder’s Premium Dating App Will Cost You More If You’re Older”), “Tinder told NPR that U.S. users will pay $9.99 for Tinder Plus if they’re under 30, and $19.99 per month if they’re 30 or older. U.K. users between the ages of 18 and 27 will be charged 3.99 pounds per month, and users 28 and older will be charged 14.99 pounds per month.”

This isn’t the first occasion in which Tinder has been accused of some type of discrimination. In her July 3, 2014 thinkprogress.org post, “The Tinder Lawsuit: What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Women in Tech,” Jessica Goldstein writes “Tinder co-founder and former marketing executive Whitney Wolfe is suing the dating app she helped start. She’s accusing co-founder Justin Mateen and Chief Executive Officer and co-founder Sean Rad of harassment, discrimination, verbal abuse, and erasing her title and contributions to the company because, in their words, she was a ‘girl’.” That suit, one among several regarding sexism in Silicon Valley, was apparently settled.

Despite this information, Tinder is not the only site charging regular monthly fees for anyone seeking companionship. Websites such as topconsumerreviews.com have reviews about various online dating sites, which include information about pricing structures. While the bulk of sites appear “free to join,” depending on which membership level and services you want, most will then have monthly membership fees ranging from approximately $10 to $60.

But back to Tinder and its particular under 30/over 30 divide… Tinder’s website includes a line saying “Any swipe can change your life.” What do you think? Will you download, swipe and support this service? Or are you more in favor of taking a swipe at the company’s distinctly ageist approach and finding other forums for your dating desires?

(Image Credit: flames by Crystl, Flickr.com)