Ageism can involve assumptions about, or preferential or discriminatory treatment of, someone based solely on their age. Although the word can apply to people of all ages, the negative stereotypes of aging speak to a sense of deterioration or impairment and, though not based in truth, often become part of our sub- or unconscious and accepted as fact. This kind of dismissiveness of anyone is unfortunate for everyone.

Some ageist attitudes include “jokes” or comments mocking those “over the hill” or asserting it’s impossible to find love or have an active sex life over 40. Or the phrase “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” despite there being centenarians who are learning computers or taking up a new language. Has a doctor ever brushed off your query about a medical issue with the attitude that it’s just part of growing older and, “well, you aren’t 20 anymore…”? Or told you, as a 40+ woman, that you should have a hysterectomy to remedy a problem without asking if you wanted any more (or any) children? Do you know anyone over 40 who was passed over for a job or promotion despite being the most qualified candidate? Certainly, some people will be more capable than others. But this is true no matter what a person’s age. If you take 20, or 100,000 people, whether they are 18 or 90, or any other age, each is an individual and will have unique needs and challenges which should be considered accordingly.

Though ageism happens on many levels, all too often when we hear about such discrimination it regards the workplace. Age-based professional bias still happens – a lot — despite the fact that there are federal and state laws meant to prohibit such discrimination. In 2014 alone, there were over 20,000 charges filed under The Age Discrimination in Employment Act (ADEA, eeoc.gov/eeoc/statistics/enforcement/adea.cfm). The ADEA is a federal law created in 1967. It protects individuals ages 40 and older, making it unlawful, for example, for an employer “to fail or refuse to hire or to discharge any individual or otherwise discriminate against any individual with respect to his compensation, terms, conditions, or privileges of employment, because of such individual’s age.” (www.eeoc.gov/laws/statutes/adea.cfm; More workplace fairness information can be found on sites like www.workplacefairness.org).

In a Forbes.com article, “The Ugly Truth About Age Discrimination,”  Liz Ryan discusses how being older and having more experiential wisdom can work in your favor. She provides this tip regarding job interview preparation; “Here’s the flip side of the age-discrimination challenge: if you know what business pain you solve and can talk to hiring managers about that pain, they can’t afford to care how old you are.” Ryan further explains that “Job-seekers who use their interview air time to ask questions about the processes, the obstacles in a hiring manager’s way and the thorny problems they’ve seen before in similar situations vault themselves to a higher level of conversation than the ones who don’t.”

For those of you who know you have much to contribute, yet no longer want to work for another boss, the statistics are in your favor. In fact, as I talk about in my #1 Amazon best seller book, The Ageless Way, the 40+ market is perfect for a new encore entrepreneurial start-up, the opportunity to change ageism into Age-Friendly while making a profit. Rather than staying in repressive, stultifying positions with a silver ceiling looming, more and more workers (particularly women who have endured long-standing conflated ageism AND sexism) are standing in their own shoes and starting their own businesses, often as solopreneurs.

Regardless of where we are in our professional lives and whether we work for someone else, are our own boss, or do not currently work, we can all play a role in pushing the edge of the envelope. We can all work toward exposing and eradicating embedded fundamental ageism and make positive change happen by turning the aging paradigm inside out.

Those of you familiar with my work will recognize my clarion call to unite and create a new story of our AGE. Your story about who you are in the world can determine your choices and whether your journey will lead to action or inaction, stagnancy or movement toward greater fulfillment. And there’s no need to agonize over what that means or make the simple more difficult. If you trust in life’s dynamic process, it will all continue to unfold as you age, and learn, and keep refining that story.

As Julie Andrews sang in The Sound of Music, “Let’s start at the very beginning — A very good place to start…” Words will always be at the root of your story, whether right now or in the future. Starting today, pay close attention to the words you use to describe yourself and others, consciously changing them, if needed. For example, whether thinking about shifting something in your professional or personal life, just replace the cultural stereotype of “It’s too late for you. You’re not credible unless you are young and beguiling!” by confirming your personal awareness that “My experience, my talents and intelligence, and my unique perspective, make the timing perfect for me to act now. I know how to focus on what really matters. All great visionaries have wrinkles.” Hopefully, though this will be only the first step of many, taking it will ensure that the next step will be that much easier.

What ageism have you experienced or witnessed in life? Was it ignored or addressed? Please share your stories in the comments below.

Also, please read part one to comprehend the following answer by Dr. John Feather. It’s important for aging experts to grasp how consumers think and what drives their decisions in long-term care. It’s another way we can begin the change of ageism

Where do We Go From Here?

Good question. I asked Dr. Feather.

Feathers: Aging experts feed into the undesirable attitudes, and it’s because they work in aging and senior care every day. They’re exposed to frailty, sickness, and hopelessness. Senior care providers and thought leaders tend to market by using disaster messaging. For example, how often do we hear the term the silver tsunami? Let’s take a closer look at the condition. It’s an unexpected catastrophe, and it feeds into the hopelessness and the feeling feeds into powerlessness. We’ve known about aging boomers and their growing numbers, so it’s not an unexpected change. It’s nothing new. We should have higher hopes for our society and stop that horrific thinking cycle. But not all aging experts fall short. Many offer leading edge long-term care planning.

Other things to do to change the general public’s aging perceptions:

• Stop talking about older people as if they’re in a group of their own.
• Halt the attitude of a zero-sum game.
• Avoid the crisis message like the silver tsunami.
• People are not open to discussing a topic if it involves disaster; they’ll run from that.

Carol Marak advocates aging with pride and wholeness. She writes for Assisted Living Facilities by contributing well-researched articles on senior living topics and aging care. Find her @Carebuzz and @SeniorCareQuest on Twitter and LinkedIn.

These historic first few weeks of July reminds us of just how much we have been through together, as a nation and as individuals, from the civil rights movement we honor because of Martin Luther King, Jr., to women’s rights, so much of which is embodied in Roe vs. Wade, the landmark Supreme Court decision made over 40 years ago. To this month where that same court passed legislation that allows same sex couples to get married in all 50 states and where we in the US celebrate our freedom that so many fought so hard to accomplish.

Only that isn’t what the voice of our society is focusing on. The problem is that instead of seeing what has been accomplished, in our present as well as our past we are quick to be offended. We are listening to respond. Instead of listening to learn.

These are words that I hope everyone can take to heart, not only in terms of where we are headed as a nation, but in terms of where we are headed as individuals, generations, personally and professionally. Now is the time to act on that big vision you have inside you, to act knowing it will be imperfect, to act on something so big that it simply can’t be carried out entirely in a lifetime or two lifetimes or ten. Nor alone on your own!

Millennials, early and late Boomers, and Matures—are becoming more vocal about putting aside the generational stereotypes and looking at the common ground.

The question then becomes not whether these generations will work well together but how, and what changes we are likely to see in the future of society and government as a result of the changing, more age-diverse face of tomorrow’s leaders.

The Age of Greatness won’t be ushered in by nations or corporations or even non-profit organizations. It will be ushered in by individuals, like you and me, acting on what moves us and discovering that the more of us who do so, the more we will resonate with each other across all generations. Collectively, what moves us will create a movement that changes the world, rippling out into the next 4, 40, 400 years  . . . and beyond.

 With those words in mind what have you contributed to the voice of society this week? Are you proud of what you’ve said or done? How would you change it?

Karen Sands, MCC, BCCPhone: 203.266.1100 Email: karen@karensands.com Website: www.karensands.com Address: PO Box 43 Roxbury, CT 06783-0043

The Four Factors

Individualistic Thinking

America is a country built on “individualism.” We are proud people and believe each person has the right and liberty to be who and what we choose to be. That’s all great, of course, but the attitude leads to an “it’s not my problem” thinking. So, when one gets older, frail, and unhealthy, it’s not the society’s responsibility to step in. It rests on that person who is sick; each person should handle their health, finances, etc. Society has deep roots in independent perceptions.

Us vs. Them

The attitude embraces a Zero-sum game perception. If one wins, someone must lose. For example, if we, or the government, puts money toward a program for the elderly or seniors, then the children will lose. Our society has difficulty in thinking in terms of “the whole.” We are stuck in segregation. For example, if we give money to the older generations, then we take away from the children. Someone loses. But our society is not segregated, and no one should lose.

Contradicting Images of Aging

We see this advertising. One ad shows a happy, retired couple traveling the world or sitting in a swimming pool at a luxury assisted living community. Then another image shows an elderly man stuck in a wheelchair and placed in the corner of a nursing home all alone. These are two very different scenarios. Dr. Feather’s says, “These images simply don’t tell the truth about older adults. Few retired people live a luxurious life on one hand while even fewer older people live in a nursing home facility. It’s difficult to link the two together when explaining to the general public – the happiness village or the unfortunate result.”

Fatalism

One of the last factors that the general public holds tight is the glum and doom perception, and there’s little chance of
“whatever the topic” to improve. The perfect example is Social Security. How many people believe it will disintegrate leaving no money or very little to go around? There is enough left to go around, and we aren’t at risk of losing it all. How many people have little faith in it to do a quality job for the American public?

Carol Marak, Aging Advocate and Editor, SeniorCare.com.

Marco Rubio recently announced his run for the presidency of the United States. In his statements, and in what is clearly being interpreted as a snub to Hillary Clinton, he suggested that we do not need “a candidate of yesterday” and declared himself a “generational choice.” What does it mean to want to nullify both history and the experiences of a person who has lived longer (to say nothing of her diverse experiences which have inspired women’s leadership on a global scale in what is known as “The Hillary Effect”)? How does someone who claims to want to be the leader of the free world act so dismissively about the fastest growing population (those over 65), which, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Administration for Community Living numbered 39.6 million in 2009 and is anticipated to reach over 72 million by 2030?

In the past, I’ve written about my shock upon hearing from clients, colleagues, and even family members, that Hillary Clinton is too old to run for president in 2016. Yet, when I press for an age that is “too old,” no one is able to answer me. Why? There is no such age. The myth that there is has its roots in views and expectations about aging that have gone unquestioned for decades, perhaps centuries. Many of us even parrot it to ourselves when we are anxious to take a leap into something new. It does not seem to be changing even as we live longer, healthier, active lives to unprecedented ages. We rarely think to question it, yet when we do (as I have done with the Clinton example above), we find it falls apart. Ageism has no basis in reality.

Of course, Hillary Clinton’s age is not the only issue here. There’s something else emerging from the shadows. Both genders experience ageism, but for women the bigotry is especially potent. Ageism is always mixed with and strengthened by sexism. Unfortunately, both are embedded in society’s story about aging and women…in our story. No matter our political stance, age, or gender, we have all internalized this narrative to some degree.

In a show on Sirius XM Satellite Radio, host John Fugelsang and guests discussed bracing for the likely ageism and sexism which will accompany Clinton’s candidacy. Their comments included foreseeing the racism concerning the Obama presidency being replaced with sexism, increasing disparaging remarks about Clinton’s age (despite the irony of her being the same age as Mitt Romney or the fact that Ronald Reagan was older when he became president and served two terms) and more focus on, and constant judging of, her appearance (her suits, glasses, and hairstyles…), which happens rarely, if ever, when considering male candidates.

Despite cultural gains regarding treatment of women (after all, before 1920 we didn’t even have the right to vote…), the continuing sexism, workplace discrimination, and crimes against women are staggering. Even though many issues go under-reported, statistics substantiate the issues women face across the globe, such as The United Nations Development Programme’s information that 3 out of every 10 women report having experienced violence by an intimate partner and, globally, women hold less than 22% of parliamentary (hence decision-making) seats. It also remains indisputable that women still make less than men for the same work. In fact, that issue remains so prevalent that an annual “holiday” was created; Equal Pay Day aims to draw attention to the additional number of days women have to work to earn the same money as men earned the previous year.

It’s time to change the story we tell as a society and the story we tell to and about ourselves. For women, especially, the old misogynistic story about aging is a powerful weapon against us, no matter our age, stage or cycle, a mis-story that starts when we’re young, in how we view older women, and only builds from there, preventing us from realizing the potential for greatness that ripens as we age. We owe it to ourselves and to generations to come to step forward visibly and be not who we should be as we age but who we can be.

And here’s to an election cycle in which we all consider who to vote for with civility and without discriminating against any candidate’s gender, party, age or race.

What experiences have you had with ageism and/or sexism and how have you resolved them? Do “-isms” create schisms?

(Image Credit: Photo by essygie)