Everyone wants long term success. But it is elusive for most.

Long term success is dependent on knowing where you are now and where you are headed. Then closing the gap. Frequently. Continuously.  Whether it’s your business, your career or your life at home., it’s easy to get off track, lose touch or get buried under. Without a true sense of where you are in the moment, it is impossible to realize your dreams or be a leader in your field.

Re-calibrate your profound knowledge

The only way we can take 100% responsibility for sustaining our success is to keep re-calibrating-in every aspect of our lives and organizations.

Key to successful recalibration is to acquire what my dear departed mentor, Dr. W. Edwards Deming, coined as Profound Knowledge. This umbrella phrase emphasizes understanding change and how to measure it, being aware of emerging trends and shifts, and learning how to apply this knowledge to leading and sustaining long term success.

Bottom line: If we don’t acquire Profound Knowledge we cannot know how to prepare for and leverage coming change, thus how to sustain our success long term.

Understanding change means understanding shifts in our personal world as well as tracking trends that capsize us, overtake us, or cause us to flounder.

Learning the Hard Way

Unfortunately one of my Gen X male clients learned this the hard way. A rising star in his field and recently married, he was planning far a great future for his kids, tons of time for fun and all the trappings of success. As if out of the blue, the rug got pulled out from under him. His “Happy Homemaker” wife fled, saying I’m out of here!

Somewhere along the way there was a breakdown or perhaps many small fissures below the surface. Had they been recalibrating an checking in with each other, communicating the truth of what was so for each of them…perhaps they could have saved their marriage…or at least ended it with love, grace, and forgiveness.

Even in the most secure relationships, unexpected change happens to ruffle our plans. A recently returned to work mother of teenage kids reported that her new career is now going gangbusters and she no longer worries about the empty-nest . But, the new ripple in her life is that her once very successful husband, in his late 40’s, now faces an unknown future. Surprised by the shifts in his industry, “suddenly” he and his business partner are facing the probability of closing their doors. What once appeared to be the sure path to their dreams, is no crumbling beneath them.

Change is inevitable. If you can learn what Profound Knowledge is and apply it you can avoid these same pitfalls and NOT LEARN THE HARD WAY!

What steps are you going to take to future cast your long term success?

2009 was the year disaster came my way. It started by quitting my job to salvage a marriage of 19 years. By midyear I divorced, left the state, and had half the assets my husband and I stringently built, never expecting to divorce. My grandfather died in July. I suffered a health issue Thanksgiving Day. My father suffered an injury that left him severely brain damaged. Let’s not forget the economic turmoil and I was 45 years old, unemployed, and in a new state (geographical as well as mental mindset).

It was tough to bounce back after the last half of 2009. While I did everything right on the outside to deal with the loss, inside was where the storm raged.

For 3 years.
During those years, I battled what I thought was the biggest obstacle to my success: introversion. I attended up to 5 networking events per week, within a 150 mile radius to build awareness for my business.

Growth occurred externally, but internally, I continued to grieve all I lost in 2009. While I blamed myself for much of the sorrow, I was also guilty of waiting for things to improve on their own.
It wasn’t until my mother, still grieving the loss of her husband (who was in a semi-vegetative state) said, “Nothing every goes right for our little family.”
“That’s not true!” I insisted. When she asked me to prove it, however, I couldn’t. We had been so locked in our negative mindset that growth and peace continued to evade us. The dark clouds still hovered and I was appalled by my negativity. I could have done something to end the storm.

Blowing the Clouds Away

It started with a smile. A soul-deep smile that radiated throughout the body. A smile that would attract people rather than keep them at a distance.
Next, I sought positivity in the past tragedies and applied it to the growth and opportunity in the present. With these tools, smiling became easier and I didn’t feel so mentally weighed down.

Glimpses of Light

The Universe observed my activity. It wasn’t going to immediately give me a thumbs-up and lay out a shiny red carpet in front of me. Nope. It tested me. A new lead backed out at the last minute. A client wasn’t pleased with my services. I got bronchitis. Twice. My laptop died. I was tempted to slip back into the storm, but moved forward instead.
Then tiny things happened. I slept better. Clients sent referrals. Migraines diminished. My blog took on new life as I focused on entrepreneurship and life after 50.
My rebrand progressed until Dad died November 2015. There were a few related setbacks but they didn’t hold me for long.
Until June 2017. I lost my two largest clients due to budget cuts and suddenly had no money coming in. This was a huge trial for me, but I kept going.

The Results of a Positive Mindset

The gloom faded quickly.
The storm didn’t infect other aspects of life.
Opportunities were easier to identify.
Additionally, I could dedicate myself fully to my rebrand without other projects competing for my time and attention.
Armed with these super powers, I got back to business with fire and determination. In under 2 months I got published in 6 online publications and was ASKED to become associate editor for Boomalally magazine.
Lessons learned:
Blow the clouds away.
Believe in yourself.
Trust yourself.
Test your limits and push past them.
Take risks.
Ignore the naysayers
Abandon the self-pity. It only gives others the opportunity to race past you.
Don’t waste another minute. Too much has already been wasted.
Make every moment count.
Furthermore, SMILE!
Recently, my mother sent a text message saying she’s having a burst of happiness. When I encouraged her to have more, she said, “I’m not normally a positive person, so I’m sure you have something to do with it.”
That certainly made me smile.
Are you ready to smile again? You’ll quickly discover that a positive mindset is contagious.
Kristen Edens
Managing Midlife

Kristen Edens is a content and brand development specialist for business. She is the founder of the Managing Midlife blog and covers topics of finance, second acts, and caregiving for the Sandwich Generation. Her writing has been featured at Business.com, Booming Encore, Small Business Monthly, St. Louis Women’s Journal, Missouri SourceLink, Better After 50, and Thrive Global. Her latest adventure is becoming the associate editor and oracle of inspiration for Boomalally, a magazine dedicated to those celebrating a life well lived after 50.

However, from the vibrating heart of our dissipating structures comes the promise of our true greatness: a greatness of awareness and action that will change the world. From the midst of the evolving Great Transition, we leave the Great Recession and the uplifting Obama era behind us as we enter an unknown, unchartered new cycle of populism and extreme radicalism ripping our valued democratic tenets to shreds and putting each of us on the line.  This Great Shift demands that we each unlock our potential for greatness which lives in each of us, and we are being called to make a difference. That is the premise of The Greatness Challenge, in which I offer a template for embracing and embodying our unique Signature Greatness DNA^SM to unleash our personal and collective greatness.

The Greatness Challenge is a manifesto for the growing wave of us who want to add value in all we do and who are being called to personal and collective evolution—from dentists to doctors, executives to engineers, artists to teachers and visionary leaders and futurists who are looking to redesign their lives so that every moment counts . . . for those of you who seek work that not only fills your bank accounts but your “values” bank as you yearn to do well doing good . . . for leaders who seek a pathway to visionary leadership, so the impact you have is of the greatest benefit for all.

To be one of the first to hear about The Greatness Challenge when it releases join us in the Secret Facebook Group here.

“Solitude is fine but you need someone to tell that solitude is fine.” ~ Honoré de Balzac

In my June 22, 2015 Ageless Beat blog, “Alone Doesn’t Mean Lonely….” I spoke about how we all may experience loneliness and, though it may seem ironic, sometimes it’s beneficial to spend time alone doing something nurturing to ease that sense.

In addition to finding comfort on your own, another way to overcome loneliness is by spending time with each other. There are many ways to find community and connection, whether you prefer the company of one other or many others. Below are some of the ways I have learned (and helped coaching clients) to diminish any suffering that can accompany the feeling of loneliness.

~ Make time and be fully present to nurture current relationships you feel are worth keeping, and consider letting go of those which are draining or negating. It’s easy to know which are which, just check in with your very real body messengers and trust your gut. Rather than e-mailing/texting, experiment with having more interactions over the phone (or Skype or Facetime with those at a distance) or, better yet, meet in person.

If it wasn’t for today’s technology I’d have no real relationship with my new grandkids living in Arizona. It’s the same even with my two elementary school grandkids here in the east. When they are involved with sports and birthday parties or I am engaged in business and travel, which prevent our biweekly visits, Facetime saves the day.

~ Consider volunteering. Whether you like working with animals or are seeking human interaction, volunteering for an organization (or giving in another way, like cooking a meal for someone in need) can be a great way of being with others while also doing something philanthropic.

~ Become active with an organization or group to meet others while engaging in fulfilling activities, such as: classes in exercise, art, quilting or crocheting, music, history, geography, technology, business, etc.; book groups; environmental, religious, political organizations or a professional group of your peers. MeetUp.com is one online way to find groups. Local newspapers and magazines often list events that may interest you.

~ If you are online, you can check out websites like Boomerly.com, which offer a means to connection for like-minded friends and travel companions, as well as potential romantic partners. Don’t forget your LinkedIn groups and expanding your connections on Facebook and others.

~ Check out retreats with your favorite guru or authors. Join a women’s group or a yoga center.

~ Make an appointment to speak with a ICF certified coach, licensed therapist or clergy.

~ How often do you interact with different generations? This can be a great way to inspire new connections and insights. Create an intergenerational group in your local community center or offer mentoring within your company or professional organization. Go to concerts where younger people abound.

~ Participate in online conversations like this one – offer your comments and suggestions below and let’s make this journey on The Ageless Way even better!!

The world is full of others who are seeking others… The more all of us explore, the better chance we all have of finding each other and reducing loneliness and becoming happier AND healthier.

 How would you describe what loneliness feel like? What techniques do you use to cope with, or overcome your loneliness?

(Image Credit: circle of friends by maveric2003, flickr.com)

Have any of you been through a recent change or loss which transformed your role in and/or perspective about life and your future?

With graduations, weddings, and kids going off to camp, college, or on a global trek — all marker events which reach a crescendo at this time of year — many of us find ourselves on the precipice of being empty-nesters or on our own for the short or longer term. There are really no words that can adequately describe the vacuum that can engulf us when we are freshly on our own…even if we relish aspects of our new freedom. Like all things in life, there’s always a downside and upside to consider and hopefully embrace.

If you’ve had any of these experiences, even those which are positive, chances are that at some level you feared and/or felt a sense of loneliness.

According to Dr. Sanjay Gupta, in his article Loneliness Can Really Hurt You, “Loneliness is an invisible epidemic that affects 60 million Americans. Everyone feels lonely at times in their lives, but chronic loneliness poses a serious health risk. New research suggests that loneliness and social isolation are as much a threat to your health as obesity. As Richard Lang, MD, chair of preventive medicine at the Cleveland Clinic, puts it, people need to attend to loneliness ‘the same way they would their diet, exercise, or how much sleep they get’.”

As with other aspects of big “S” self-care, though, it can be confusing to know where to begin in order to feel better.

There are many ways we can all diminish loneliness, regardless of age or stage of life, both alone and with others.

So…let’s get this conversation started and begin at the heart of the matter — with YOU!

Being lonely is different than being alone (have you ever felt lonely despite being in a crowd of people?). It is a feeling, not a fact of life. In fact, time spent alone can often be exactly what you need to clear your mind, boost your energy and mood, engage your creativity and reconnect with your inner passions. Instead of putting yourself down (our natural default mechanism) find a way to take pleasure in some solitude.

Have you ever appreciated doing any of the following on your own?

* gardening

* walking along a beach

* painting/drawing

* meditating

* doing yoga

* journaling

* traveling

* going out for a meal or movie

These are just a few of the many ways to enjoy your own company.

A couple of weekends ago my husband was out of town for several days. In addition to chatting with friends I’d been meaning to catch up with, I filled my time reading, writing, and, in the best of my alone time, happily binge-watching a full year of Frankie and Grace on Netflix!

Sometimes simply reinforcing the connection with yourself is the best kick-start antidote to any lingering or pervasive sense of loneliness you may experience.

Do you have any other suggestions as to how we can ease loneliness when spending time alone? Let us know in the comments below!

(Also, be sure to check out Wednesday’s Ageless Beat blog when we continue this discussion about ways to assuage loneliness through connection with others… Any tips you think we should include in that (or future) blog(s)? Let me know today by sending an email to Karen@KarenSands.com or feel free to comment below!)

(Image Credit: IMG_2886 by Sudheesh Joseph, Flickr.com)

Fuel is the starting source for producing energy and, just as with our home heating systems, our bodies require fuel in order to avoid depletion and keep going. You can’t run on empty. Becoming worn out not only affects physical health, but, in a domino effect, may also place a (literal and figurative) drag on your mental, emotional, and relational well-being.

In my May 27th Ageless Beat blog, Time Out, I wrote about the value of renewing in order to de-stress and be more productive again. This week, I want to add to that by mentioning some simple tidbits and energizing options you can try right now, regardless of finances, location, age or other circumstances.

In her article, 12 Weekend Habits of Highly Successful People, Emma Rushton suggests that the most productive and prosperous among us typically view weekends as secret weapons for success. She is quick to add that the same actions can be done all week, as well, adding a quote of Aristotle’s, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

Rushton offers collected tidbits of wisdom from such famous high-powered people as Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates, Anna Wintour, Timothy Ferris, and Warren Buffet. Among their suggested practices, which can be beneficial for professional, as well as personal fulfillment, are:

* Don’t multi-task, as it reduces effectiveness. Instead, be present for each single activity.

* Stay Active as an active body is key for an active mind.

* Prioritize what’s important to keep work-life harmony in balance.

* Make time for hobbies, which make for an interesting life while also fostering creativity and relieving stress (Do you prefer Indoors? Outdoors? Participation or observation? Are you a puzzle fan? An athlete? Do you ride horses, do yoga, love to collect a particular item, enjoy reading or writing, make original crafts or models, sing, work with technology/electronics, cook, collect, keep bees, etc.?).

* Practice stillness (Since recovering from surgery, I have found this to be especially helpful, particularly while sitting in my back yard on a beautiful day as I did this past Memorial Day weekend and appreciating the added healthful benefit of viewing flowers, trees and wildlife).

* Take time to reflect and assess what works and doesn’t, which activities to continue or release, what will work best to amp up your ability to be energized and successful.

* Give back – in addition to feeling great it can help re-energize your thinking in other areas.

I would also add, give fuel to yourself … you cannot live your fullest life, or even be there for those you care about, if you are on empty. Even doing just one energy-enhancing action today can begin to make a difference.

Have you felt depleted at any time lately? What did you do to re-fuel?

(Image Credit: Statue of Buddha in meditation position, garden, View Ave NW, Seattle, Washington, USA by Wonderlane, Flickr.com)

Springtime is all about renewal and rebirthing … aren’t we supposed to feel energized and rarin’ to go? Yet, instead, do you find yourself struggling to stay on top of all that needs attention in your life, never mind finding time for relaxation and pleasure? Forget about extreme Self-care!

Clients, colleagues, and friends are describing a dreadful slowly-engulfing malaise besetting more and more of us. Synthesized down, they all agree: I feel as if I can’t pull it out anymore. I can’t rebound again. I can’t get it up again. Most are running low on patience, tolerance, and hope. All are feeling an inability to keep on keepin’ on.

We live in a fast-paced world which affects our ability to accomplish all we set out to do and often results in stress and anxiety, regardless of our age. For those of us over 40, energy may be diminished further by sandwich generation caregiving, changes in hormones and body chemistry, and a higher risk of degenerative diseases as we age, etc.

Something has to give, but what is it?

Not to worry … there are ways to address the fatigue of overwhelm and reduce or eliminate the stress from draining aspects of life. Ok, so you can’t increase the number of hours in a day … but you can start now with some simple ways to increase your energy and heighten your ability to tackle tasks and enjoy your life with more gusto.

Nature teaches us that everything has its own rhythms and cycles, with highs and lows — all with built-in pause time. No surprise I refer to our meno-pause as a time to reflect, re-sort, renew, recharge — our Time Out — before we recycle into a new phase or age of life. The same requirements to “rest” or cycle down, be still, and center exist whether working out, in the midst of your creative process, or dealing with the attention span of a board or team. Take a look at any drawing depicting any process change, even the s-curves of business maturity models — everything has to cycle down for optimum recovery before recycling back into a new upward curve fueling new innovation and greater longevity.

In his 2013 New York Times article, Relax! You’ll Be More Productive, author Tony Schwartz offers what seems like a counterintuitive suggestion for reducing stress and renewing the energy which is central to enhanced performance and greater accomplishment: taking more downtime.

Schwartz suggests we aren’t meant to constantly expend energy, but to “pulse between spending and recovering energy” – a kind of “economy of physiology dance.” How many times have you reached for a cup o’ caffeinated joe or a sweet snack to heighten your energy when feeling a bit depleted?

Instead of such choices, which override the body’s signals to relax and restore, Schwartz shares how at his own company “renewal is central to how we work.” There is a room where staff can nap, meditate, or just relax. Understanding that more vacation is positively impactful, they offer four weeks off from the outset. Management encourages lunches away from the office (particularly with others), renewal breaks throughout the day, and unplugging from technology when away from work.

According to the article, “…it’s not how long, but how well, you renew that matters most in terms of performance. Even renewal requires practice. The more rapidly and deeply I learned to quiet my mind and relax my body, the more restored I felt afterward.”

By managing energy more skillfully, Schwartz asserts, it’s possible to get more done, in less time, more sustainably. “In a decade, no one has ever chosen to leave the company. Our secret is simple — and generally applicable. When we’re renewing, we’re truly renewing, so when we’re working, we can really work.”

How do you do with holidays and weekends? Are you mentally in your office or truly on a Time Out? What have you found works best for you to allow for dis-engagement and renewed connection?

(Image Credit: photo by d10n2000, flickr.com)