Everyone wants long term success. But it is elusive for most.

Long term success is dependent on knowing where you are now and where you are headed. Then closing the gap. Frequently. Continuously.  Whether it’s your business, your career or your life at home., it’s easy to get off track, lose touch or get buried under. Without a true sense of where you are in the moment, it is impossible to realize your dreams or be a leader in your field.

Re-calibrate your profound knowledge

The only way we can take 100% responsibility for sustaining our success is to keep re-calibrating-in every aspect of our lives and organizations.

Key to successful recalibration is to acquire what my dear departed mentor, Dr. W. Edwards Deming, coined as Profound Knowledge. This umbrella phrase emphasizes understanding change and how to measure it, being aware of emerging trends and shifts, and learning how to apply this knowledge to leading and sustaining long term success.

Bottom line: If we don’t acquire Profound Knowledge we cannot know how to prepare for and leverage coming change, thus how to sustain our success long term.

Understanding change means understanding shifts in our personal world as well as tracking trends that capsize us, overtake us, or cause us to flounder.

Learning the Hard Way

Unfortunately one of my Gen X male clients learned this the hard way. A rising star in his field and recently married, he was planning far a great future for his kids, tons of time for fun and all the trappings of success. As if out of the blue, the rug got pulled out from under him. His “Happy Homemaker” wife fled, saying I’m out of here!

Somewhere along the way there was a breakdown or perhaps many small fissures below the surface. Had they been recalibrating an checking in with each other, communicating the truth of what was so for each of them…perhaps they could have saved their marriage…or at least ended it with love, grace, and forgiveness.

Even in the most secure relationships, unexpected change happens to ruffle our plans. A recently returned to work mother of teenage kids reported that her new career is now going gangbusters and she no longer worries about the empty-nest . But, the new ripple in her life is that her once very successful husband, in his late 40’s, now faces an unknown future. Surprised by the shifts in his industry, “suddenly” he and his business partner are facing the probability of closing their doors. What once appeared to be the sure path to their dreams, is no crumbling beneath them.

Change is inevitable. If you can learn what Profound Knowledge is and apply it you can avoid these same pitfalls and NOT LEARN THE HARD WAY!

What steps are you going to take to future cast your long term success?

There is a children’s book, entitled Are You My Mother?, in which a baby bird is born while his mother has gone to get some food for his arrival. Because she is not there when he emerges, he goes in search of her, asking the title question of the animals and machines he encounters. Along the way, he discovers none of them are his mother, a fact confirmed when he is reunited with her at the tale’s end. In this story, none of those who the bird questions are his mother. In our lives, though we come from our “birth mother” (some who stay present in our lives, some who don’t…), we all have the potential of being mothered by many people.

Not every woman gives birth to a child, but every woman, at some point in her life, has done some mothering – whether caring for a youth, an aging parent, friends, colleague, a pet, or even forming a business, idea or movement.

I lost my mother to the ravages of Alzheimer’s when she hadn’t even reached her sixth decade and I was just about to enter my third. That immense loss fueled my search for positive role models, women who were examples of growing older in Ageless ways, as well as women who could offer the wisdom and nurturing inherent in the role of mothering another.

It was the community of the feminist movement that transformed my life. From and with these women, I learned who I was at my core, was encouraged to break through my perceived limitations, and began to envision my aspirational future. I found my voice as a woman and became part of a network that crossed generations. We all learned from those who mothered us so we could connect with, usher in, and empower, the next generation who, in turn, now offer insights and new ways of nurturing based on their own experiences. Each generation of those who mother others literally and figuratively births the next generation.

We mother at different ages, though the experience and wisdom that comes with growing older enhances what we can offer. Even consider the word grandmother, which references a parent’s parent or an elderly woman in a community. How wonderfully atypical – a welcome change from the usual ageist language – that the word GRAND indicates largess, having more importance, a recognition of our capabilities as we age. And let’s not forget the oldest mother of all: Mother Nature/Earth, who offers the land we live upon, whose air we breathe and whose food offers us comfort and survival.

I used to scoff at the contrived aspects of Mother’s Day until I became a grandmother and saw it as a time to honor my maternal lineage. Now, years later, I continue decades-long work on expanding how I mother by focusing on transforming our culture’s approach to growing older. This Mother’s Day, in honor of past lineage and future generations, I invite you to join me in birthing a new story about aging, a way for every one of us to mother ourselves and each other in order to reach our full potential and ensure lives of deep significance, purpose, and contentment.

 What experiences have you had that exemplify what it is to “mother” another?

There seems to be a prevailing Noah Syndrome attitude in our culture; pairs are preferable – get on board two by two…

It is as if such a partnership is the only means to true fulfillment. Too often, if we are not currently part of a duo, especially around a time like Valentine’s Day, we may feel depressed, at a loss, or lacking in some way. And these feelings, added to “ages-old” stereotypes about growing older, like “older people are lonely,” or “senior citizens are has-beens who are no longer desirable,” despite their inaccuracy, can shake us to our vulnerable core.

But love and desire come in many forms. Though each individual experience of love cannot be easily or generally defined, the Merriam Webster online dictionary offers a few different descriptions, such as: strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties; attraction based on sexual desire (affection and tenderness felt by lovers); affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests; and, warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion.

In addition to romantic love (whether a monogamous relationship or one with multiple partners), we can experience fulfillment in myriad other ways, including love of self, of our children (grandchildren, nieces and nephews, etc.), of animals (including our pets or a type of species, like koalas…), of friends, of nature, of the arts, of place…you get the idea. Though the sentiments and warmth accompanying these loves can occur at any age, for those over forty navigating the transitions between our youth, our middle years and our later years, and the precarious balance of connection and loss at these junctures, they may be especially poignant and rewarding.

A December 27, 2013 article written by Roman Krznaric and posted online  offers another perspective about different types of love and how they can enhance our lives. The author discusses the six loves known to the Greeks: Eros (sexual passion and desire); Philia (friendship); Ludus (playful love/affection); Agape (selfless love, extended to all of humanity); Pragma (mature love); and, Philautia (self-love). He shows there is value in being inspired to move beyond the youthful addiction to romantic love in which we see one partner as being the sole fulfiller of all needs and desires. Instead, by nurturing those six loves, we can be more connected with all of humanity and may discover we have a lot more love than we ever imagined.

I am still over the top in love with my husband of almost forty years. We are intensely aware that we are living proof of mature and Ageless Love. I also know that the awesome loving relationships I have with my children, superseded only by my grandchildren, plus my treasured family and friends, and the love I feel for my work and life passions, are ALL vital to my health, Heart and my Ageless Soul…

F. Scott Fitzgerald suggested “There are all kinds of love in this world but never the same love twice.”  As you step each day into your Ageless Future, here’s to recognizing the myriad ways in which the different varieties of love can rejuvenate, renew and ramp up your life. Bring something special to each day and each loving relationship. It’s true … what goes around comes around.

Other than in your romantic relationships, in what ways has love made your life (including work) more vibrant, peaceful, meaningful and/or pleasurably fulfilled?

Amazon #1 Best Seller Author of 11 books including The Ageless Way, Gray is the New Green, Visionaries Have Wrinkles, The Greatness Challenge and more.

However, from the vibrating heart of our dissipating structures comes the promise of our true greatness: a greatness of awareness and action that will change the world. From the midst of the evolving Great Transition, we leave the Great Recession and the uplifting Obama era behind us as we enter an unknown, unchartered new cycle of populism and extreme radicalism ripping our valued democratic tenets to shreds and putting each of us on the line.  This Great Shift demands that we each unlock our potential for greatness which lives in each of us, and we are being called to make a difference. That is the premise of The Greatness Challenge, in which I offer a template for embracing and embodying our unique Signature Greatness DNA^SM to unleash our personal and collective greatness.

The Greatness Challenge is a manifesto for the growing wave of us who want to add value in all we do and who are being called to personal and collective evolution—from dentists to doctors, executives to engineers, artists to teachers and visionary leaders and futurists who are looking to redesign their lives so that every moment counts . . . for those of you who seek work that not only fills your bank accounts but your “values” bank as you yearn to do well doing good . . . for leaders who seek a pathway to visionary leadership, so the impact you have is of the greatest benefit for all.

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