Everyone wants long term success. But it is elusive for most.

Long term success is dependent on knowing where you are now and where you are headed. Then closing the gap. Frequently. Continuously.  Whether it’s your business, your career or your life at home., it’s easy to get off track, lose touch or get buried under. Without a true sense of where you are in the moment, it is impossible to realize your dreams or be a leader in your field.

Re-calibrate your profound knowledge

The only way we can take 100% responsibility for sustaining our success is to keep re-calibrating-in every aspect of our lives and organizations.

Key to successful recalibration is to acquire what my dear departed mentor, Dr. W. Edwards Deming, coined as Profound Knowledge. This umbrella phrase emphasizes understanding change and how to measure it, being aware of emerging trends and shifts, and learning how to apply this knowledge to leading and sustaining long term success.

Bottom line: If we don’t acquire Profound Knowledge we cannot know how to prepare for and leverage coming change, thus how to sustain our success long term.

Understanding change means understanding shifts in our personal world as well as tracking trends that capsize us, overtake us, or cause us to flounder.

Learning the Hard Way

Unfortunately one of my Gen X male clients learned this the hard way. A rising star in his field and recently married, he was planning far a great future for his kids, tons of time for fun and all the trappings of success. As if out of the blue, the rug got pulled out from under him. His “Happy Homemaker” wife fled, saying I’m out of here!

Somewhere along the way there was a breakdown or perhaps many small fissures below the surface. Had they been recalibrating an checking in with each other, communicating the truth of what was so for each of them…perhaps they could have saved their marriage…or at least ended it with love, grace, and forgiveness.

Even in the most secure relationships, unexpected change happens to ruffle our plans. A recently returned to work mother of teenage kids reported that her new career is now going gangbusters and she no longer worries about the empty-nest . But, the new ripple in her life is that her once very successful husband, in his late 40’s, now faces an unknown future. Surprised by the shifts in his industry, “suddenly” he and his business partner are facing the probability of closing their doors. What once appeared to be the sure path to their dreams, is no crumbling beneath them.

Change is inevitable. If you can learn what Profound Knowledge is and apply it you can avoid these same pitfalls and NOT LEARN THE HARD WAY!

What steps are you going to take to future cast your long term success?

Always Add Value is one of my 52 Quintessential Principles of Greatness codified to keep us moving from great to greatness.

I forget to apply this principle myself every once in a while. In fact, just last week I was asked to by a really sharp associate leader, “what value will you bring to my membership?” What caught me most off guard was that the Value Added editorial thrust of this issue was already in the works.  Here I was being confronted with having lost sight of this very principle.  Will the learning ever stop?  Nope.  I sure hope not.

These on-target questions inspired me to re-think how I add value by what I do.  I responded that her high achieving and accomplishing members match the profile of my clients.  They are successful in their chosen field; they want to expand their referral network and are seeking to improve the results.  Coaching entrepreneurs, family firms, executives and professionals, I appreciate their business challenges and professional concerns.

All of these movers n’ shakers want to improve the performance of their firms, attracted new and maintain current revenues and customers. But that’s not all.  What I’ve learned is that these truly accomplished folks relish the opportunity to fine-tune and to stretch. Even more so, they know that becoming a better communicator and a leader ensures that they will thrive in these challenging times.

I also added that we all aim to keep our personal and professional lives in balance.  It’s just such a struggle when buffeted constantly with destabilizing sound bites and constant emails announcing disruptive shifts in our world and demands on the personal front. Add that to having to deal with the pressure of invigorating a work life, keeping the home fires burning and just having fun. Whew! That’s why powerful people look for coaches who add value by moving them to greatness and to building legacies that are unforgettable.

I could have kept riding my dead horse, not “hearing” what I was being asked. Instead, I took in the question and changed my language so that I could add greater value, On the other hand , if my response fell on deaf ears, then I would need to change horses by seeking out another grouping of people who would be more in sync.

In the process of re-stating my value added, I was reminded that more and more of us are wanting to realize our vision for a better and sustainable futures for ourselves, our loved ones, our workplace, community and our planet.

What I’ve found is that today’s vanguard leaders are seeking to make meaning as well as money, and build legacies as well as bank accounts.

What’s become paramount is that if we are to reach our greatness, we are must take a good look at our lives, our leadership and our relationship asking the probing questions:

Am I in the right tribe?  Am I adding value in all do?

Oprah Winfrey 

Integrating the inner feminine with the inner masculine is the third (R)evolutionary axiom that is essential to greatness. 

There is no stronger force in nature for softening the hard edges of stone than water. In the same way, no influence is more healing in taking away the edges of living in a high-pitched accelerated world than that of the Sacred Feminine. The traditional masculine qualities of competitive achievement, hierarchical organization, and goal-orientation have been at the foundation of our institutions and our very way of life. Both men and women who are successful have to internalize some or all of these values in order to succeed in the mainstream. 

As more and more people feel their lives out of balance, they yearn to integrate their masculine qualities with the inner Sacred Feminine: that which is intuitive, connected to body and nature, the Soul’s access way to the transcendent, and which allows a softer way of living. As people quest into the Canyon of the Soul, they often discover their own Sacred Feminine waiting for them like a pool of still water at the heart of fallen stone or the transformative waters of a tsunami eroding what no longer works, leaving a sculpted, newly revealed essence. By connecting to the Sacred Feminine in all her qualities, we forge a more balanced life and a more collaborative, unified way of relating to the earth and ourselves. It is through the Feminine in us all that we discover an innate wisdom that sees connections in all things and the longer view. The Sacred Feminine is rooted in our bodies as is the Soul—what Jung called the Inner Feminine, or Anima. Body, Soul, and Earth, the Sacred Feminine returns us to our sacred roots. 

Listen to the voice of the Black Madonna, for she is also part of the archetypal Sacred Feminine and has many faces that emerge across the world. Renowned Jungian analyst and prolific author Marion Woodman tells us of the Dark Feminine, “her darkness is associated with the unknown, repressed side of our femininity” and appears all over the world as Sophia, Shekinah, Lilith, and Kwan Yin. Her truths are uncompromising, and when we listen to her, and voice her discerning truth, the world will change. 

Not only are we being called to connect to the Sacred Feminine within ourselves— men and women alike—but we see an increasing emergence of women leaders who are blazing the trail. Conferences, workshops, books, and associations are appearing throughout the country because women are taking on new leadership. Unlike years past in which women tried to lead like men, these new leaders are encouraging a more sustainable and long- lasting view based on feminine principles. Greatness is not possible without the Sacred Feminine; only through the marriage of the Inner Masculine and Feminine polarities can we evolve as individuals and as a society. 

Don’t you agree? If not, why?

Your Next Chapter

Life is supposed to be full of milestones. Things like graduation, getting married, buying a house, a new job or the birth of a child. Every self-help book that I have read recently, asks the question- what is your next move? The audiobooks that I listen to are challenging me to step out of my comfort zone and try something new. This type of action will propel me to the next level of my career, lifestyle or whatever the new thing that I aspire to.

Do I want to sell my house and move to Dubai? Do I want to spend a week in the woods with nothing but a tent, ax and a camp stove? Heck no. I don’t think these drastic changes in my lifestyle will push me up the preverbal ladder of life.

What if there is no next chapter? What if there is no ladder of life to climb? What if you are living and breathing your next chapter at this very minute?

Stop living for the future. Stop buying into the nonsense that you need to have three years experience before you can apply for that job that you are more than qualified for. Stop telling yourself that you will finish your degree when your children are in school. Stop thinking that you can’t possibility sing in the choir because you haven’t practiced enough.

You are writing your life story in the here and now.
Your next chapter is here and now. Your next chapter is what you do and the decisions you make every day. Waiting for something big may not make you take those small daily steps that are part of your everyday story. Everyday stories add up to a full chapter. Full chapters add up to a very interesting and engaging book.

Enjoy your story in the here and now.

Your Next Chapter is Now

About the Author

Jan has been working in senior living for over 22 years. She has learned throughout her career that everyone needs encouragement. Everyone has a story and it is never too late to make a fresh start. Her blog janwieder.com is full of encouraging stories.

However, from the vibrating heart of our dissipating structures comes the promise of our true greatness: a greatness of awareness and action that will change the world. From the midst of the evolving Great Transition, we leave the Great Recession and the uplifting Obama era behind us as we enter an unknown, unchartered new cycle of populism and extreme radicalism ripping our valued democratic tenets to shreds and putting each of us on the line.  This Great Shift demands that we each unlock our potential for greatness which lives in each of us, and we are being called to make a difference. That is the premise of The Greatness Challenge, in which I offer a template for embracing and embodying our unique Signature Greatness DNA^SM to unleash our personal and collective greatness.

The Greatness Challenge is a manifesto for the growing wave of us who want to add value in all we do and who are being called to personal and collective evolution—from dentists to doctors, executives to engineers, artists to teachers and visionary leaders and futurists who are looking to redesign their lives so that every moment counts . . . for those of you who seek work that not only fills your bank accounts but your “values” bank as you yearn to do well doing good . . . for leaders who seek a pathway to visionary leadership, so the impact you have is of the greatest benefit for all.

To be one of the first to hear about The Greatness Challenge when it releases join us in the Secret Facebook Group here.

Legendary actress and activist Jane Fonda’s book, Prime Time, is about living to the fullest in what she calls the “third act” of life. In her 70s, Fonda wrote about “stories from her own life and the lives of others” exploring” how the critical years from 45 and 50, and especially from 60 and beyond, can be times when we truly become the energetic, loving, fulfilled people we were meant to be.”

Fonda has never been one to hold back the truth, and in fact, her outspoken views have earned her both admiration and ire. Just like when she walked the 2017 Emmy’s red carpet sporting a ponytail and working the catwalk in Paris Fashion Week at the age of 79. But she has always remained true to her voice and her vision, always speaking up, especially when others could not or would not. This book is no exception. As she says, “I feel like my honesty gives people the freedom to talk about things they wouldn’t otherwise.”

Similarly, iconic dancer, singer, and actress Rita Moreno, of West Side Story, Singin’ in the Rain, and everything in between, at 79 is playing the most electric character ever—herself—in Rita Moreno: Life without Makeup, at the Berkeley Repertory Theatre.

Unlike Fonda, Moreno is known more for her mystery than for her candor about her own life. She wasn’t interested in a show about herself until now. Having lost her husband of 45 years in 2010, Leonard Gordon, she is feeling the mixed emotions many widowed women feel, the bittersweet combination of profound loss and a newfound freedom. When approached again to do the show about her life, this time she agreed. In her recent memoir she lays bare Hollywood’s golden age, a tawdry and misogynistic era. In her early 80’s now, she is still sizzling!

Whether you’re like Fonda, a person who’s always spoken up about her truth, or like Moreno, discovering that now is the time to do so, one thing is clear—in Act III of life, nothing is more important than finding and using our voices, the ones that speak from the visionary we all have inside. But we can’t stop there. Part of speaking up about what matters most to us is taking action on our truths. That’s what separates us from generations gone before. We now have the opportunity to not only tell our stories, but to get out on the world stage and act.

What will your opening to your third act be?

Amazon #1 Best Seller Author of 11 books including The Ageless Way, Gray is the New Green, Visionaries Have Wrinkles, The Greatness Challenge and more.

If so, you’re a lot like my clients.

One woman client, Ms.Clio, recently did something extraordinary. I know you’ll enjoy reading about what she did to take my breath away.

It’s mid-afternoon on the day of the once in a lifetime (every 99yrs) seen Solar Eclipse over a wide swath of the U.S.A. I was in total awe witnessing this cosmic spectacle unfold.

To maximize my experience and its impact on my psyche, I read both astrological and mythical interpretations of this cosmic event. What I gleaned is that whatever comes up during the darkening phase is to be released as “completed forever more.”  Equally vital to contemplate, is that whatever shows up as the moon’s shadow moves over and away from the sun to reveal its brilliance, a new phase begins, heralding new opportunities for months and months to come.

Long ago I embraced the mysteries and gifts of messengers and auspicious events.

Just as I looked away from the darkening sky, my cell phone pinged. To my total shock an incoming email with the subject line: “57 Greene Street Soho” showed up. I read the “out-of-the-blue” message just as the moon’s shadow moved out of darkness into its last phase of the solar eclipse. It was a message from a female client, Ms. Clio, who I hadn’t seen or heard from in 42 years! As Clio reminded me, she came to work with me when she was desperately in a need of a lifeline. It was the ‘70’s when American women were birthing the 2^nd women’s movement. American Feminism was taking hold. Not all of us were “bra burners”, but all of us were seeking emancipation, our place at the boardroom table, and equal rights and pay.

She wrote:

 It‘s been so many years, but I am sure you will remember me.
I was so frightened of where I was going, and you seemed so sure, I fed on your strength and grew strong. It was a very transformative time in my life, thanks to you, a very positive experience that put me on the right path. Your words still guide me today.

I am so glad that, so many more women, are being given the opportunity to be guided by you, into a more enlightened way of living and being.

With love and appreciation, “Clio”

Reading these unsolicited words moved me deeply…they brought me to tears of release and joy, rooted in times long past. The timing of her outreach is auspicious.  I, like the sun, am moving out of the shadows of my late middle years, now moving further into my last phase of my (working) life.

After being off-road for a couple of years to write The Ageless Way (now a #1 Amazon Best Seller), the timing of the eclipse message of “letting go” and “closure,” better yet, “completion,” could not have come at a better time.

The generosity of my long-ago client and mentee to chose to reach out across the decades to express her thanks was more than enough to keep me keepin’ on.

Just in case I didn’t get the complete message of the solar eclipse, with great grace Clio took me back to a time long ago that had drastically changed my life and my family’s forever more. True to the interpretation of the meaning of the Solar Eclipse is that it’s now time for those heart-wrenching challenging years to be completely released…with gratitude, grace and generosity.  

I’m so grateful that Ms. Clio reached out now, right smack in the middle of the Solar eclipse!

I raise my glass to Ms. Clio! Life well done. She truly embodies generosity, gratefulness and grace to the max, along with the necessary amount of grit essential to making dreams come true. Thank you Clio for allowing me to help you along on your journey, and for mirroring back to me the transformative shifts I have been blessed to catalyze for you…and for so many others since those many years ago. xo

Now as the Solar eclipse recedes from my top of mind, I am filled with continuing awe and immense gratitude for the fulfillment of the “promise” of the Solar eclipse which heralded the many new opportunities emerging from the shadows. Now new and long ago clients are returning to brighten my landscape just as did the sun as it moved from the darkness of totality to re-emerge brightly.

What showed up for you during the Solar eclipse? Did you have the sacred opportunity of releasing or arriving at completion of something from long ago? Post eclipse are you experiencing new opportunities coming your way? What role have messengers played in your life and work? Are you open to their appearance? What’s happened when you have paid attention versus when you have blown them off? Who do you need to reach out to so you shine the light on their gifts to you when you needed a lifeline?

Amazon #1 Best Seller Author of 11 books including The Ageless Way, Gray is the New Green, Visionaries Have Wrinkles, The Greatness Challenge and more.

A problem adequately stated is a problem well on its way to being solved.   R. Buckminster Fuller

Last weekend, I sat in the lazy Spring evening with a dear friend to say goodbye.  We all gathered outside on the genteel front porch, surrounded by splashes of outrageous colors in wafting fragrance from their lovely- tended perennial gardens. All of us either ex-hippies or on the early at baby boomer hood. Now mainstream and highly accomplished.  Some of us parents with adolescent kids, other brand new or seasonal empty-nesters.  Coupled and single along with a recent widower.  All of us hunkering into midlife and beyond.

Our conversations floated from one thing to another finally to what’s next?  Each of us piping to our two cents.

What’s next?

 So typical of midlife and beyond: the biological clock keeps ticking! Each of us want to beat that clock… or remove its hands! Like Ulysses’ sirens all our ‘I wants’ shrill shrews demanding attention right now! The consensus: everything looks so risky and getting more so every day!  We all laughingly agreed that it would be so great to just float away. Take a cruise and come back when everything is all decided. Isn’t that what holiday escapes for?

The reality is that most of us are asking the same life altering questions as we find ourselves standing at the precipice of change: How do I make decisions now since I don’t know who I’m going to be by then… or what the world will like by then?! The “then” timeframe has some encompasses the next 2-5 years, and for others of us, 10-15. But what is the same for all is that these midlife and beyond questions range from the more profound:  why am I here? Is this all there is? The more fundamental practice decision about where to go from here both in career and life planning terms. On the midlife career front for instance: where do I step down and pass the baton? What’s my new passion? Should I join some company boards, or rev up and start a new business? Combine with more personal ones which muddy the choice even further: can I afford to downshift? Is this the spouse I want now? Do I want City living, the country or both?

Living Betwixt & Between

Just as in adolescence, most of us are teetering between “in control” and “out of control”.  Each what if? Required a multitude of compromises and leads to more complicated scenarios without obvious answers.  Like a child ride, around and around go.  It’s dizzying.  Lots of questions. Too many choices. Plenty of obstacles to traverse.

Caught in the middle zone, although reluctant to admit it out loud, we all confronted what day tremendous terror of not knowing, the Million-dollar jackpot question is: How do we live in between?

 The only answer: In the center of tension! Somehow we have to find another ground.  And wait it out!

This is the place I know so very well.  As a self-proclaimed midlife and beyond diva, I enter this space as a matter of course as clients seek new on-ramp, change lanes and shift gears on the road to midlife greatness and new destinations.

Life is Good

My own visits to the center of the maelstrom remind me that each new life cycling brings us back into the Life is Good phase. But once there, it’s so easy to get comfy. Too much so. In my youth, the inflation of success was so intoxicating.  I love the adrenaline high fueling my surety that I’ve got this nailed.  I am on top of the world. This phrase’s arrogance blindside us. Once again we fall totally out of touch with the other end of the continuum:  where things may look like there’s no way out…apathy reigns… you may want to give up… can’t find your way. The other side of ignorance can be excruciating self-doubt, emptiness, disconnection from life’s greater mysteries.

Caught in the throes of an inner life-death struggle, we prefer not to take the curves, but rather hold on to what we know and have. So many of us take the slow lane, driving within the speed zone. Only to find ourselves stuck in first gear, heading right smack into mediocrity.  Stagnation. Entropy.

Just like the lifecycle of a business, our lives follow a recurring pattern: one phase follows the next, in time. We either have to change- recycle- or die on the side of the road.

Recently I found myself like a deer in headlights, not sure which way to go.  My husband and I our grappling with where to live and work next. So many directions fascinate. We all want to be with kids, who are spreading across the country from east to west. I craved the country needing to be in nature, yet the” action” is in the city.  New doors are opening to take my work to the next level. I’m pregnant with possibilities.

Fortunately, I know better: I have to stay in the center of the maelstrom and wait it out. And I have to sit in my worst fears.  I know that if I resist, my fears of manifest even more. Instead of staving off the fear of not knowing with my favorite numbing trick, (filling myself with extra help of carbs, obsessing over roads not taken, buying something I probably don’t need) I must instead find a safe middle ground. A place within, where it’s okay to NOT KNOW…yet. That’s where real clarity is birthed.

Lots of opportunities that appear to be right up my alley are beginning to show up. It would be so easy to speed ahead. Any premature movement towards resolution, e.g., rushing the process…is a “subtle self-violation”, as Richard Moss would say.

As is true for all of us, as I get closer to a breakthrough, (the aha! Moments,) the ante gets upped. I need a fix! Just the time to outsource for support and objectivity. I call a dear friend or colleague, and she reminds me to be delicate with myself. And to make friends with my fear of not knowing just yet.

Thankfully, I am forced to acknowledge my own hunger for ready answers and unease with not knowing. I remind myself that this too will pass. Clarity will return. But while I wait, my task is to keep striving for greater consciousness…stretching to unleash my greatness.

Detours or Destinies?

 Now more than ever, it is critical that we remain flexible and adaptable…making friends with change and not knowing. This is our time to resource, preparing for a new phase or a totally new cycle. Each of us must be extra vigilant now to be personally accountable. Now is the time to invite change and embrace transformation.

All we have to do is stay in motion. That’s the key to longevity! But we must remember us that heading into action without clarity is dangerous. Otherwise we may miss the gift of what Bucky Fuller, (one of our country’s greatest 20^th century Visionaries,) coined as a right-angle precession. Tracing patterns in nature, fuller uncovered a new truth: we must stay open to what shows up although it may look like a detour. It may very well be our destiny honking.

For instance, using the Bumble Bee as an example in nature: It flies parallel to the flowers below heading in a determined direction. Then, its turns perpendicular to its original path, only to find the nectar it was seeking. As we all know, it’s so easy to be totally focused on the goal in front of us, so wary of being sidetracked, that we miss the most important side roads. These show up as messengers pointing the way to our desired destination.

Tools for the Road

 I expect to spend the rest of my life in the future so I want to be reasonably sure what kind of future it’s going to be. That’s is my reason for planning.

CF Kettering

To avoid making the wrong turn or aborting the trip altogether, we need proper assessment tools, knowledge and experience to make distinctions. And if we are really savvy travelers, we can take the hairpin turns without destroying what matters most by studying with a master. With seasoned objective and wisdom, a master will help us turn on our headlights again.

by Downing Van Buren, Learn How

With technology advancing at such a breakneck pace it’s easy to feel outdated, out of the loop, or left behind. It seems every day phones and computers get faster and more complicated. Maybe you’ve felt it’s just not worth trying to learn how to use the latest technology tools.

We at Learn How disagree. Technology has so many benefits, that instead of being a hurdle it can actually be a great tool to help you “flip the age paradigm on its head” and really “rock your age” as Karen puts it so well.

Here are three ways technology can help you rock your age and thrive:

Knowledge

With an internet connection, you have access to almost ALL of human knowledge. You can learn anything you want. Need to learn some new skills to thrive in your career? How about that hobby you’ve always wanted to pursue but didn’t know where or how to start? It’s all available. Not knowing how to do something isn’t a valid excuse for not reaching your full potential. Technology allows you access to knowledge and information that will help you live to your full potential and purpose.

Networking

Technology brings people together. With email, live video chat services, and social media, connecting with others has never been easier. Collaborating with people on different continents is now common practice for many. Companies and brands are using these services to connect with consumers and influencers more than ever before, and you can use these same services to your advantage. Learning how to use this technology will open your world to new ideas and new resources to help you on your journey.

Efficiency

Finally, technology has simplified much of the mundane tasks of life. Buying an airline ticket, managing finances, creating a business plan, managing a project schedule, shopping, even learning a new language have all been simplified through computer and cell phone apps. And the best part is, most of them are free. Learning how to use some of these apps will save you time, as well as increase your results.

Technology can seem hard to learn at first, but once you learn some basics, it becomes more intuitive and easy. That is why we founded Learn How. After noticing the trouble our parents and grandparents had doing simple tasks on their phones and tablets, we knew we could help. At Learn How we create simple step by step videos on how to use technology.

Our videos are short, easy to understand, and include on screen guides so you can follow along yourself. Learning technology can seem difficult, but with a little direction and practice it will soon become second nature. Here’s an example of the Magnifier tool for the iPhone that many people don’t even know they have!

So, instead of fearing technology, it’s time to take control and use it as a tool to help you thrive and really rock your age.

Questions for thought:

What are you going to do today to make technology a tool instead of a hurdle?

What technology tools could help you accomplish a goal you are pursuing right now?
Downing Van Buren is a content writer for “Learn How”, a group of four friends who are doing their best to help others learn how to use technology to improve their lifestyle.  We are focused on providing the best instructions, tips, and tricks in short concise videos that are easy to follow and understand.

This idea of having it all was birthed in the women’s movement of the 60’s and 70’s: Going for it all became the liberated women’s” truth.” It was a byproduct of learning that we could “be” whatever we wanted. Failure was out of the question. For me that meant becoming a “Super Hero” of sorts: super-mom, super-wife, and super career woman all rolled into one.

But the truth about Having It All is this: our evolutionary mandate is that we let go of the compulsive goal to have it all at the cost of the birth of a new definition of success and failure. This new definition is about how we show up! Especially when thrown a curve ball.

Greatness is about showing up in all areas of our lives. But there is a guide to keep in mind. Rather than showing up for everything, choosing what not to show up for is just as important. For example, as our lives change we may be required to show up more in other places and not spend as much time where we had before.

The best way to know when to show up and when not to is to be really clear about what your criteria are for living your greatness and leading others to theirs. If you know for sure that something will NOT support your criteria, then is makes sense NOT to show up. When we act in accordance with our core values , both synergy and synchronicity take over.

So what are your core values? How can you show up better in your life to honor those values?