Everyone wants long term success. But it is elusive for most.

Long term success is dependent on knowing where you are now and where you are headed. Then closing the gap. Frequently. Continuously.  Whether it’s your business, your career or your life at home., it’s easy to get off track, lose touch or get buried under. Without a true sense of where you are in the moment, it is impossible to realize your dreams or be a leader in your field.

Re-calibrate your profound knowledge

The only way we can take 100% responsibility for sustaining our success is to keep re-calibrating-in every aspect of our lives and organizations.

Key to successful recalibration is to acquire what my dear departed mentor, Dr. W. Edwards Deming, coined as Profound Knowledge. This umbrella phrase emphasizes understanding change and how to measure it, being aware of emerging trends and shifts, and learning how to apply this knowledge to leading and sustaining long term success.

Bottom line: If we don’t acquire Profound Knowledge we cannot know how to prepare for and leverage coming change, thus how to sustain our success long term.

Understanding change means understanding shifts in our personal world as well as tracking trends that capsize us, overtake us, or cause us to flounder.

Learning the Hard Way

Unfortunately one of my Gen X male clients learned this the hard way. A rising star in his field and recently married, he was planning far a great future for his kids, tons of time for fun and all the trappings of success. As if out of the blue, the rug got pulled out from under him. His “Happy Homemaker” wife fled, saying I’m out of here!

Somewhere along the way there was a breakdown or perhaps many small fissures below the surface. Had they been recalibrating an checking in with each other, communicating the truth of what was so for each of them…perhaps they could have saved their marriage…or at least ended it with love, grace, and forgiveness.

Even in the most secure relationships, unexpected change happens to ruffle our plans. A recently returned to work mother of teenage kids reported that her new career is now going gangbusters and she no longer worries about the empty-nest . But, the new ripple in her life is that her once very successful husband, in his late 40’s, now faces an unknown future. Surprised by the shifts in his industry, “suddenly” he and his business partner are facing the probability of closing their doors. What once appeared to be the sure path to their dreams, is no crumbling beneath them.

Change is inevitable. If you can learn what Profound Knowledge is and apply it you can avoid these same pitfalls and NOT LEARN THE HARD WAY!

What steps are you going to take to future cast your long term success?

Always Add Value is one of my 52 Quintessential Principles of Greatness codified to keep us moving from great to greatness.

I forget to apply this principle myself every once in a while. In fact, just last week I was asked to by a really sharp associate leader, “what value will you bring to my membership?” What caught me most off guard was that the Value Added editorial thrust of this issue was already in the works.  Here I was being confronted with having lost sight of this very principle.  Will the learning ever stop?  Nope.  I sure hope not.

These on-target questions inspired me to re-think how I add value by what I do.  I responded that her high achieving and accomplishing members match the profile of my clients.  They are successful in their chosen field; they want to expand their referral network and are seeking to improve the results.  Coaching entrepreneurs, family firms, executives and professionals, I appreciate their business challenges and professional concerns.

All of these movers n’ shakers want to improve the performance of their firms, attracted new and maintain current revenues and customers. But that’s not all.  What I’ve learned is that these truly accomplished folks relish the opportunity to fine-tune and to stretch. Even more so, they know that becoming a better communicator and a leader ensures that they will thrive in these challenging times.

I also added that we all aim to keep our personal and professional lives in balance.  It’s just such a struggle when buffeted constantly with destabilizing sound bites and constant emails announcing disruptive shifts in our world and demands on the personal front. Add that to having to deal with the pressure of invigorating a work life, keeping the home fires burning and just having fun. Whew! That’s why powerful people look for coaches who add value by moving them to greatness and to building legacies that are unforgettable.

I could have kept riding my dead horse, not “hearing” what I was being asked. Instead, I took in the question and changed my language so that I could add greater value, On the other hand , if my response fell on deaf ears, then I would need to change horses by seeking out another grouping of people who would be more in sync.

In the process of re-stating my value added, I was reminded that more and more of us are wanting to realize our vision for a better and sustainable futures for ourselves, our loved ones, our workplace, community and our planet.

What I’ve found is that today’s vanguard leaders are seeking to make meaning as well as money, and build legacies as well as bank accounts.

What’s become paramount is that if we are to reach our greatness, we are must take a good look at our lives, our leadership and our relationship asking the probing questions:

Am I in the right tribe?  Am I adding value in all do?

For some women, there’s a particular moment when we recognize that our bodies are no longer young, and for others, this is an ongoing process, simply a continuation of the lifelong body judgment we are taught from a young age.

We know that we have internalized the expectations of a youth-obsessed society and the unrealistic beauty standards in media, standards reinforced in how we talk about ourselves and other women, in how men talk about women and respond to us.

But knowing this doesn’t necessarily change how we view ourselves in the mirror.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, we’re told to accept who we are, to embrace our bodies and stop trying to change them. Yet this attitude can be just as limiting and just as damaging when it leads to judgment and shame for wanting to dye our gray hair or smooth out the furrow in our brow.

Wanting to accept our bodies as they are doesn’t necessarily change how we view ourselves in the mirror.

In many ways, it’s easier to spot and even discard, if only partially, the beauty standards of a patriarchal society. Women all over immediately and righteously eviscerated Tom Junod’s sexist Esquire article, “In Praise of 42-Year-Old Women.” And in Robin Korth’s article for Huffington, “My ‘Naked’ Truth,” few women readers would not immediately see that the man Robin was dating, who wanted her to hide the signs of aging in her body, was not a complete sexist ass.

Even when we struggle with how much we’ve internalized the definition of beauty as equal to our value in the eyes of men and society, we know it exists and we recognize its harm. More subtle, however, is the harm from the other beauty standard, the one that tells us we should accept ourselves as we are, that we are superficial if we devote time to the appearance of our bodies.

All the “shoulds,” implied and blatant, whether they are intended to be empowering or not, are simply obstacles that distance us from our bodies and from discovering what we, as individuals, truly want.

Some women may discover that completely letting go of their cares about how they look to others really is freeing and in keeping with who they are and who they want to be. Others may find that their bodies are a canvas to express themselves on according to their own standards, using any tools they choose, from makeup and fashion to botox. For many women, the body itself may be the artist’s tool, valued for the beauty and meaning and connection it can create in the world, like all great works of art. And still others may strike upon a combination of these or other views.

These are just a few of the ways individual women might view their bodies if freed from the noise of the “shoulds” and the implication that women are all the same, that one standard of beauty or of acceptance applies to all of us. When we can get in touch with how we view our bodies and how we genuinely want to view our bodies, not how we feel we should, what we see in the mirror will be our true selves embodied, at every age and stage.

Sacramento, Ca. – I love to remember the tiger lilies that grew in my granny’s Oklahoma red dirt. They seemed magical with their bright orange color and their black speckled petals. Every time I see one I’m reminded of the Oklahoma summers I spent playing with cousins and eating my granny’s wonderful cooking.  The ones I grow must be missing the red dirt of Oklahoma because they’re not as prolific in my Sacramento Valley dirt but they still remind me of my roots and my sweet granny.

Living longer and better requires a lot of attention to exercise and brain fitness. We all need exercise, fresh air and sunshine to maintain good health. Our brains also need to be exercised and experts agree that reminiscing can elevate our moods and flex our brains in many positive ways. One way to kill two birds with one stone is to grow a memory garden.

Our ability to smell is the strongest facilitator of remembering. Fragrant plants can take us back to our childhood or recall a day in the garden with a loved one. I especially like to grow the plants that have been given to me by family and friends. Roses are perhaps the most fragrant and are easy to share with others. Cuttings taken in winter can be rooted and gifted for summertime blooms.

Who doesn’t have a planting of Hens and Chicks that someone gave us? My garden is filled with plants and flowers that my mother has given me. Most of them she dug up from her garden and that makes them more special to me.

My Granddaddy loved crepe myrtles. They grew all over the 160 acres where my father grew up. Their ruffled and papery blooms gave him so much pleasure as mine do for me. They also remind me of my grandparents’ old farmhouse and how excited I got as a child when we were close enough to see the windmill turning in the field. I can just see my granddad go out past the woods to find Goldie, my father’s buckskin mare. Crepe myrtles are planted at the head of my granddaddy’s grave. I took my own children back to the homestead while they were still little. The farmhouse is gone, the windmill is broke down and laying in the field, but crepe myrtles still grow next to where the front porch once stood.

My daughter hated gardening when she was a child. She would promise to clean the whole house if I just wouldn’t ask her to lend a hand in the dirt. Regardless of her complaining, I made her learn all the names of the flowers we grew. She was a quick learner and managed to only spend a short time in the flower beds. But one year I found a way to lure her into the garden. I planted a sunflower house with six different varieties of sunflowers and morning glories that climbed up the giant stalks. Every day she would go out to see the house’s progress. When it grew big enough, she would go inside and sit a while dreaming. She’s now a mother herself and now enjoys planting flowers and vegetables with her two sons. I try to grow sunflowers every year, mostly to remember the summer of that Tara took to gardening because of a sunflower house.

Gardening can be so beneficial for getting you in shape, exposing you to fresh air and it can be a social connector also. Whether you love to garden or just love someone who does, it gives you an opportunity to connect. Just ask that gardening friend or family member to show you their garden. Take them a small plant and you’ll be remembered for years to come. Chances are that you’ll come home with a memory plant of your own.

Karen Everett Watson is a certified gerontologist who lives in the Sacramento Valley just a mile from her parents who give her a constant flow of topics on aging. She enjoys her three children, 10 grandchildren, her chickens and two acre homestead.

However, from the vibrating heart of our dissipating structures comes the promise of our true greatness: a greatness of awareness and action that will change the world. From the midst of the evolving Great Transition, we leave the Great Recession and the uplifting Obama era behind us as we enter an unknown, unchartered new cycle of populism and extreme radicalism ripping our valued democratic tenets to shreds and putting each of us on the line.  This Great Shift demands that we each unlock our potential for greatness which lives in each of us, and we are being called to make a difference. That is the premise of The Greatness Challenge, in which I offer a template for embracing and embodying our unique Signature Greatness DNA^SM to unleash our personal and collective greatness.

The Greatness Challenge is a manifesto for the growing wave of us who want to add value in all we do and who are being called to personal and collective evolution—from dentists to doctors, executives to engineers, artists to teachers and visionary leaders and futurists who are looking to redesign their lives so that every moment counts . . . for those of you who seek work that not only fills your bank accounts but your “values” bank as you yearn to do well doing good . . . for leaders who seek a pathway to visionary leadership, so the impact you have is of the greatest benefit for all.

To be one of the first to hear about The Greatness Challenge when it releases join us in the Secret Facebook Group here.

This phrase caught my eye: “Meaningful Beauty.” It’s appealing, isn’t it? Who isn’t drawn by both beauty and meaning? The combination of the two was tantalizing, promising substance, a look at beauty that was beyond skin deep—which only made the actual content of the email all the more ironic.

It was an ad for Cindy Crawford’s wrinkle-erasing skincare line.

Oh yeah Cindy you let me down big time. I may have done some angry typing for a while afterward. But I digress.

Now, I’m not going to pretend that I have always embraced the changes in my appearance as I entered midlife and beyond. Looking in the mirror and seeing those first fine lines, then the deepening of those lines into wrinkles, along with the sagging and other changes in my aging body was never easy. The person I saw in the mirror didn’t match how I felt inside. That isn’t me. And if that isn’t me, who am I?

Who am I if I’m no longer young?

And that gets to the heart of what the anti-aging industry, from skin creams to face lifts, is really promising. A reprieve from having to ask that frightening question. The chance to be who we think we are for just a little bit longer. To be noticed, relevant, visible.

Yet answering that question for ourselves, figuring out who we are when we’re no longer young, can be the most meaningful, liberating, and life-affirming step we ever take. 

Nevertheless, are we brave enough to pursue that answer?

It can lead us to fulfilling our purpose on this planet, to awakening our visionary and creating the legacy we were always meant to create but couldn’t until we’d reached this point where experience, wisdom, and the search for meaning all coalesced. But we can’t create this future if we are focused on living in the past.

The anti-aging industry doesn’t offer meaningful beauty. It delays or even stops us from ever finding it. We all struggle with where to draw the line between enhancing our appearance and accepting ourselves as we are.

But let’s not pretend that we are going to find meaning in that jar of eye cream. The less time and energy we spend distracted by the promise of holding on to our youth, the more we can focus our time and energy on what really matters to us, to the people we love, to the world. The more we make the effort to find actual meaningful beauty in ourselves, in who we are now, the closer we get to fulfilling our greatest vision yet.

After all, what kind of vision can we have if we don’t even see ourselves in the mirror clearly?

Amazon #1 Best Seller Author of 11 books including The Ageless Way, Gray is the New Green, Visionaries Have Wrinkles, The Greatness Challenge and more.

She then goes on to explain: “We have to have internal health and internal wellness, . . . And I think that’s physical health, mental health, spiritual health. I think it’s a sense of ethics. It’s everything. If you want to keep yourself together, it’s all things.”

In other words, she describes many of the key components of ageless beauty, a rich, multifaceted holistic beauty that embraces the whole woman across the life span.

At a glance, my disagreement about ageless beauty may seem to be a minor issue of how we define terms, because I think we’re on the same page as far as what really matters about who we are as post-50 women. But when it comes to beauty, how we define terms is at the crux of the issue.

Who owns the term beauty is at the crux of the issue.

For far too long, beauty has been defined by society, not by women themselves. Even in standing up against traditional societal expectations, Sharon Stone is implicitly accepting the definition of beauty as solely focused on a woman’s appearance.

Women of all ages struggle with self-image and body image, largely because of the unattainable standard we see held before us in the media. But too often the choices we’re given are either to try to live up to this standard or to reject it wholesale. But in reality, rejecting the desire to feel beautiful is not as easy as it may seem, so women are caught between two impossibilities and often left feeling unable to attain either.

Accepting or rejecting superficial notions of beauty only legitimizes the superficial definition in the first place. Either choice limits us and who we can be.

I propose that we go further and redefine what beauty really means, a beauty that is as ageless as the core of who we are, that embraces our creativity, our intelligence, our hard-earned wisdom, and so much more—and how these manifest on the inside and out.

Instead of choosing between two negative options, I propose we choose the positive, truly empowering third option of creating and being vocal about the beauty we want to see modeled around us, the beauty we simultaneously aspire to and appreciate as already existing and evolving within us with each passing year.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel beautiful. We don’t need to add that to our already long list of ways we unnecessarily berate ourselves. What’s wrong is how we define what beautiful is.

We can take back beauty. We can redefine it for ourselves and for generations of women to come. We can make beauty ageless.

Featured image by Lisa E.

“Men . . . can still be sexy while they grow older, while women grow old and ugly!”

—Violet, played by Meryl Streep in August: Osage County

Recently, on the Golden Globes, Diane Keaton appeared onstage looking the epitome of agelessly beautiful, but almost immediately after, a L’Oreal commercial appeared showing Diane with all her wrinkles air-brushed away. Naturally, this stark juxtaposition led to an outcry.

Much of the issue is obviously the false advertising, but to me, the larger issue is the insult to women, especially women 50+.

Studies show that 84% of women feel misunderstood by marketers, who are out of touch with what real woman want and need, how they see themselves, and how they want to see themselves.

Many women certainly do want to look more youthful, but this is not the end-all, be-all of how we define ourselves and what beauty means. I personally strive more for vibrant agelessness, rather than completely erasing all my markers of aging and the hard-earned years of wisdom and experience they represent. We are individuals, and we live in reality. Showing us an unattainable and obviously unrealistic image of how we should look to be beautiful ignores how beautiful women already are, ignores that true beauty embraces the whole woman across the life span.

Our skin, our wrinkles, our hair, gray or colored, our glow, our health, our spirituality, our intelligence, our hard-earned wisdom and accomplishment, our stories are three-dimensional and individual. Ageless Beauty is about embracing and enhancing who we are, not being shown an impossible and outdated standard of who we should be.

Marketers, and society as a whole, need to understand that we no longer wish to be told that aging is something we need to be against (if we ever wished this). The age of Anti-Aging is long over. Agelessness—of body, mind, and soul—and Age-Friendly—marketing, products, communities—are the next (r)evolution in our conversation about aging, for all ages and stages.

This does not mean that women do not want products and therapies that enhance our beauty or combat aging. What it means is that on their own, they are not enough. We also want to feel the beautiful and ageless inside and out. We want products that are not “anti” who we are but that encompass who we can be, holistically.

We are seeing the shift already in more strong ageless women owning their place on the silver screen: Meryl Streep takes on the complex character of Violet in August: Osage County, a self-described truth-teller who at one point monologues about how women all get less attractive with age, an ironic character considering the actress herself is a quintessential ageless beauty.

We are all-too-gradually seeing more strong ageless women in leadership, and rapidly at the helm of business. Some companies we’d least expect are recognizing the need for multigenerational “legacy” marketing, such as Cover Girl, with 55-year-old Ellen DeGeneres as their new spokeswoman.

This conversation is already taking place on the silver screen, among women, and around the kitchen table. It’s high time it took place around the boardroom table in companies marketing to women, as well as those who should start.

Ageless women are strong, multifaceted, individual, and real. They control the largest percentage of purchasing power in this country. Ageless women are the future. Businesses that do not recognize and respect who they really are will soon be a thing of the past.