Everyone wants long term success. But it is elusive for most.

Long term success is dependent on knowing where you are now and where you are headed. Then closing the gap. Frequently. Continuously.  Whether it’s your business, your career or your life at home., it’s easy to get off track, lose touch or get buried under. Without a true sense of where you are in the moment, it is impossible to realize your dreams or be a leader in your field.

Re-calibrate your profound knowledge

The only way we can take 100% responsibility for sustaining our success is to keep re-calibrating-in every aspect of our lives and organizations.

Key to successful recalibration is to acquire what my dear departed mentor, Dr. W. Edwards Deming, coined as Profound Knowledge. This umbrella phrase emphasizes understanding change and how to measure it, being aware of emerging trends and shifts, and learning how to apply this knowledge to leading and sustaining long term success.

Bottom line: If we don’t acquire Profound Knowledge we cannot know how to prepare for and leverage coming change, thus how to sustain our success long term.

Understanding change means understanding shifts in our personal world as well as tracking trends that capsize us, overtake us, or cause us to flounder.

Learning the Hard Way

Unfortunately one of my Gen X male clients learned this the hard way. A rising star in his field and recently married, he was planning far a great future for his kids, tons of time for fun and all the trappings of success. As if out of the blue, the rug got pulled out from under him. His “Happy Homemaker” wife fled, saying I’m out of here!

Somewhere along the way there was a breakdown or perhaps many small fissures below the surface. Had they been recalibrating an checking in with each other, communicating the truth of what was so for each of them…perhaps they could have saved their marriage…or at least ended it with love, grace, and forgiveness.

Even in the most secure relationships, unexpected change happens to ruffle our plans. A recently returned to work mother of teenage kids reported that her new career is now going gangbusters and she no longer worries about the empty-nest . But, the new ripple in her life is that her once very successful husband, in his late 40’s, now faces an unknown future. Surprised by the shifts in his industry, “suddenly” he and his business partner are facing the probability of closing their doors. What once appeared to be the sure path to their dreams, is no crumbling beneath them.

Change is inevitable. If you can learn what Profound Knowledge is and apply it you can avoid these same pitfalls and NOT LEARN THE HARD WAY!

What steps are you going to take to future cast your long term success?

All over the world, people are working past the usual retirement ages. In some cases, this is due to the minimum age rising, and in others, people need or want the income, the security. But, as I’ve discussed before (e.g., The Retirement Age Myth), many people are continuing to work because they want to, because being 65, 70, 80, even 90 is not the same today as it once was. The idea of retiring at 65 today often feels as foreign as it would feel to a 45-year-old.

This trend is not going to go away, especially as more and more boomers approach and pass retirement age, whatever that age may end up being.

All over the media, we see constant discussion about the possible growing rift between the generations as younger people are (or simply feel they are) being edged out of the workforce by the over-65 crowd. Many take for granted as fact that every person who chooses not to retire is essentially taking a job from a younger person.

Yet this is not always true.  A  Bloomberg article quotes Eric Thode, senior expert at the research institute Bertelsmann Stiftung, who points out that countries like Germany and Sweden, which “have high rates of senior employment[,] also have high rates of youth employment. . . . Other countries fail both groups.”

Experienced workers are also filling positions that younger workers are not qualified for simply because they haven’t had the time to build the necessary skills, experience, and specialized knowledge. On the other hand, there certainly is a growing trend in hiring people over 60 for retail and similar jobs because of the perception that they will be more responsible than a younger employee. Even if they require a higher wage, the savings in training costs alone, a problem plaguing high-turnover service jobs, can be worth it.

But even with all of this in mind, focusing on ways to get more people to retire, under the belief that this will free up jobs for subsequent generations, is a mistake. Even if it were realistic, which it’s not (as I note above—eschewing retirement is a trend that will only continue to grow), increasing the numbers of people receiving retirement benefits would offset the possible gains in youth employment.

So what can we do about this situation, particularly about the possibility of increasing conflict and distance among generations over perceived and real job competition?

First, we need to communicate with each other about it. This seems obvious, but how often do the generations really talk about this situation with each other? It tends to get talked about through politicians and the media rather than in collaborative, hands-on, deliberately multigenerational conversations.

These conversations are crucial not only to get our fears and perceptions out in the open but also to clear up the misconceptions that can lead us all to make decisions based on incorrect information or assumptions.

Second, we need to explore alternative solutions together based on the probable future, not the past. Yes, social security was an effective solution to many problems that stemmed from the Great Depression, and it continues to be a necessary element in our economy, but pursuing ways to once again push millions of post-65 people out of the workforce is not going to work. Being 65 today is not even close to what it was in that era.

Third, we should look at generational partnerships, such as job sharing/mentorship arrangements that enable two people to be employed instead of one, enable training costs and salary to combine, stretching a company’s dollar and quickening the pace at which younger employees can gain the skills, knowledge, and some of the experience they need to be more valuable to that company and in the marketplace. These could work with a shifting percentage of time, starting with the mentor working 3/4 of the job, then gradually decreasing to 1/2, then 1/4, with an ultimate shift into mentoring another employee or into a consultant arrangement.

Which brings me to my fourth and final point (in this post, anyway). We need to encourage people over 60 (and in fact over 40 and 50) to remain employed by starting their own businesses. These could be simple solopreneur operations or larger operations that would not only remove the competition for the same job between two generations, it would generate employment.

As I’ve talked about many times before, the future of the marketplace (and the world) lies in the rapidly growing values-based business model. More and more people are spending their money consciously, choosing to buy from companies who are making a difference in the world over those who aren’t, and more often than not, these are small women-led businesses.

People, organizations, and governments need to focus on encouraging experienced professionals and executives, especially women, to start businesses with a strong focus on the Triple Bottom Line—people, planet, profits. In this way, we can solve or at least ameliorate multiple societal problems simultaneously through the specific social missions of these companies as well as their effect on the job market, offering a way for all generations to make a living and a difference, and to secure their future and that of the world for generations to come.

Amazon #1 Best Seller Author of 11 books including The Ageless Way, Gray is the New Green, Visionaries Have Wrinkles, The Greatness Challenge and more.

Midlife crisis. It is a term bandied about, which can conjure images of sports car purchases, new gym memberships, flirtations/affairs/divorces, botox and bikinis. Midlife is, for many, a time of transition, including whether or how to retire. It can be a time of more questions than answers, a time in which you feel less steady as you review and revise who and what you find most meaningful, valuable, and worthwhile. Some changes are desired and welcome, while others feel forced or unavoidable.

I believe, as I share in my upcoming book, The Ageless Way, that  “Those of us who are entering, in the midst of or, like me, leaving our rich middle years, are well poised to use such times of transition as opportunities to tap more deeply into our reservoir of innate soulful greatness – what I refer to as our Signature Greatness DNA. As history has shown, change makers and world shakers always deepen their culture and leave a legacy for future generations by confronting the difficulties of such times with invention, insight, and transcendent understanding.”

It is at these times that many people choose, whether out of desire or necessity, to begin a second (or third, or fourth…) career, which is often referred to as an encore career. There are different reasons people choose to pursue an encore career, such as: financial security; personal fulfillment and meaning; the desire to give back to the local/national/global community; flexibility; work/life balance; learning new skills and utilizing those that have been acquired over decades; sustaining social connections; pursuing a long-held dream…

Regardless of the reason(s) for selecting an encore career, those in their middle and later years have garnered personal and professional experience and wisdom which they can offer to employers and clients. In addition, Boomers and Matures (members of “The Silent Generation”) grew up in eras which inspired active, organized involvement in response to diverse current events, such as WWII, the Korean and Vietnam Wars, and the fights for civil and women’s rights. As a result, these workers are often valued for their efficiency, sense of responsibility, loyalty, hopeful attitude and strong work ethic.

The trend toward an increasingly older and diverse workforce creates multiple opportunities for building successful intergenerational office environments. Encore career professionals offer a variety of abilities and knowledge to enhance the capabilities of the younger generations and benefit, in return, from their colleagues’ perspectives and talents with new work aspects like technology. Such mutually supportive business cultures ensure a more solid future for everyone, from those engaged in encore careers to the generations yet to come.

There is even a movement afoot to support those choosing or hiring for encore careers. Encore.org’s mission is “building a movement to tap the skills and experience of those in midlife and beyond to improve communities and the world.” It seeks to engage the vitality, wisdom and talents of those in the third and fourth stages of life while emphasizing social purpose. Seeing an aging society as a solution to, rather than creator of, problems, Encore.org connects generations in diverse ways, including hosting an annual conference and offering The Purpose Prize for people over 60 who integrate their passion and experience for the betterment of society. Created in 2005, the prize aims to “showcase the value of experience and disprove notions that innovation is the sole province of the young. It’s for those with the passion to make change and the experience to know how to do it.”

I mentioned the term encore career in a blog posted earlier this week, “Second Time Around” , in which I wrote about Barbara Beskind who is now in her third year of work as an inventor, a lifelong dream she achieved just shy of her ninth decade. Additionally, I have met/worked with diverse women and men who have chosen (are choosing) to embark on an encore career. One 51-year-old woman hot shot media executive left her job to pursue what she always wanted to do as a teenager — she went back to school to become a social worker. Another high flying 62-year-old woman left an intense demanding sales executive post to return to the beloved art career of her youth. A 63-year-old retired teacher became a published author. In her January 16, 2015 New York Times article, Older Job Seekers Find Ways to Avoid Age Bias, Kerry Hannon shares the story of a 66-year-old man who was laid off from a high-powered position. After undergoing the unease of transition, questioning his purpose and averting age discrimination encountered in interviews, he ultimately ended up teaching part-time, making money, and feeling valued. And I am one among many who have found fulfillment in an encore career by creating their own business.

Encore.org and the AARP  are just two of the organizations offering programs, resources and information for those embarking on an encore career. In the short term, this transition may require additional investment of education and retraining (including working with a certified professional career coaching and strategy-creation coach). The rewards, however, can be infinite. Following your passion while giving to others can be stimulating, enlivening and offer adventures which demonstrate that, despite pleasurable memories, the best is still yet to come.

When musicians are called by an audience to perform an encore, a demand for more, it is surely a sign of success. Whether you choose an encore career out of need or want, in honoring and utilizing your skills and knowledge you are the one whose success is to be celebrated. Bravo!!

What’s your encore career story?  Please share your experience below.

Many of us are waiting. We’re playing it safe, not taking any risks, putting off our next big steps, the transformations we long to make in our lives and work, until the winds of global economic change die down. We’ve locked the doors, boarded up the windows, and headed down into the basement.

But the problem is that boarded-up windows not only keep the winds from coming in, they keep us from seeing out—we close off our perspective, our ability to see the big picture. The problem is that sometimes playing it safe and sticking with the status quo is the most unsafe choice we can make.

When we finally venture out from our basements and tentatively open our doors, we are likely to see a different world out there, one created and reshaped by the people who didn’t hide away, who instead realized that the only way to survive was to start planning the rebuilding process before the structure collapsed, not after.

We are likely to find that the place we held in the old world, that we so desperately tried to protect, no longer exists. And because we weren’t part of creating the new world, we also weren’t part of creating and ensuring our place in it.

Now I’m not suggesting that you just abandon everything and throw yourself out into the storm. If you are an executive or business owner, you need to start preparing to lead change by figuring out exactly what that means and how you can stay ahead of the curve of change without abandoning what already works in your organization.

If you are not financially ready to start that new business you’ve been longing to start, quitting your job today isn’t the answer. But as I’ve said before, the choice isn’t either/or. It isn’t either you stay at an unfulfilling job or you risk everything and start your business. The choice is both/and.

Stay at the job while you take concrete steps toward starting your business, going beyond just dreaming about it. Commit to taking action every day to build it, and taking into account the bigger world picture as you do: The world is undergoing an epochal shift. Build your business based on what the world needs and will need, based on likely trends as well as the changes you want to see in the world. If you build your future assuming it will look like the past, your business will be obsolete before you even open its doors. In fact, the business of the future might not even have doors, not the way we’ve always thought of them anyway.

Waiting on the world to change is the riskiest move we could ever make—not because it won’t, but because it will.

The future of our economy lies in our ability to innovate, connect, and work together in new ways: “When everyone has a laptop and connection to the world, then everyone owns a factory. Instead of coming together physically, we have the ability to come together virtually, to earn attention, to connect labor and resources, to deliver value.”

Seth is right. The Industrial Age is over. In its place is the potential for us to create a new age, what I call the Age of Greatness. In this new economy, we can reinvent ourselves and how we work and play so that we do well while doing good for others. We have the opportunity to be forerunners in the new way of working, to create businesses, lives—futures—that combine profit with purpose, creativity with cooperation, consumer value with our core values.

With every momentous change in our lives as individuals and as a society comes the opportunity for us to answer the call to Greatness, to listen to that visionary voice inside us that will not only lead us into the new age but will enable us to lead the new age. But the future won’t wait for any of us. Now is the time to map out how you plan to reinvent yourself and your world. You don’t have to go it alone. This new future will depend on developing connections and working together like never before. Start now by finding like-minded members of your “tribe.”

The more voices joined in answering the call to Greatness, the louder our voice for change.

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So what’s stopping us? Surprisingly, it’s not the outer patriarchy that does the most damage. It’s the patriarch we all have inside that limits us.

That voice that bellows, “You won’t be taken seriously. You can’t do this. Don’t make waves!” For women at midlife and beyond, the voice gets particularly nasty: “It’s too late for you. You’re not credible unless you are young and beguiling! Haven’t you got that yet?”

Shaming and guilting us, the voice hits every nerve we have, plunging us into self-doubt. We can’t be successful without abandoning our families. We aren’t strong enough, smart enough, savvy enough for that promotion. Or we’re just not ready.

Virginia M. Rometty,  chief executive at IBM, remembers how, early in her career, she was offered a position she didn’t feel she was ready for, so she told the recruiter she needed to think about it.

That night, her husband asked her, “Do you think a man would have ever answered that question that way?”

“What it taught me was you have to be very confident, even though you’re so self-critical inside about what it is you may or may not know,” she said at Fortune’s Most Powerful Women Summit this month. “And that, to me, leads to taking risks.” (“For Incoming I.B.M. Chief, Self-Confidence is Rewarded.”)

Stop waiting until you are perfect before you seize an opportunity—or better yet, create one. Start from where you are and take the leap, learning as you go.

Stop listening to the voice that tells you you’re selfish if you care about money, or that there’s just not enough to go around. That you can’t be successful without being a bitch or a whore. Or, most insidious because its so ingrained, that you are just not good enough and never will be.

This voice seeps into the words we use in our thoughts, speech, and writing, and those words become a self-fulfilling prophecy: Women are never successful in this field. It’s just too hard to balance everything in my life. I can’t make a living and do something meaningful. It’s just not realistic. My business idea can’t succeed in this economy.

Michael Port has an excellent blog post on this idea. One of his examples is spot on when it comes to success: “If you generalize that, ‘All rich people are snobs,’ how are you going to see yourself as a wealthy person so that you can improve your professional and financial status?”

Right now, especially, with the top 1% being considered synonymous with unethical, greedy, and criminal, it’s difficult for us to strive toward the wealth we need to make our visions a reality. Of course, some, and maybe even many, of the 1% are unethical and even criminal, but certainly not all. The more successful you are, the more resources and power you have to make a difference. It’s how you choose to use your money, and how you choose to earn it, that is important. Having money itself is not evil.

We need to start being more careful about the words we choose, particularly when speaking to ourselves. We need to consciously replace that inner patriarch with the voice of our inner visionary. The visionary tells us, “Take your attention off other people. Keep focused on your goal. Everyone’s vision is worth the same! You know what you are doing. Go for it!”

Replace Women are never successful in this field with We need more women in this field to reinvent it and improve it. The field needs ME.

It’s just too hard to balance everything in my life with I can choose what matters most to me and not waste time and energy on other things, especially living up to other people’s expectations.

I can’t make a living and do something meaningful with The world craves people and businesses who live and work their values, who can make a real difference, and people will pay for it, now more than ever.

My business idea can’t succeed in this economy with How can I make my business idea succeed in this economy?

Perhaps most important, replace It’s too late for you. You’re not credible unless you are young and beguiling! with My experience, my talents and intelligence, and my unique perspective make the timing perfect for me to act now. I know how to focus on what really matters. All great visionaries have wrinkles.

Start paying attention to your words today and make a conscious effort to change them, for only by doing so can you transform yourself and the world.

What negative messages does your inner patriarch say to you? What could your inner visionary retort?

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When we look at women’s power in the workforce, whether running their own businesses or working as executives or on boards in the corporate world and academia, we can view the situation as negative or positive depending on our focus.

Obviously, women are still underpaid and vastly underrepresented in positions of power, although this is changing (glacially). Silicon Valley just added another woman to its top executive list, with Marissa Mayer as the new CEO of Yahoo (joining Meg Whitman of Hewlett-Packard, Virginia Rometty of IBM, and Sheryl Sandberg of Facebook).

Yet the fact that this is news only shows how far we have to go.

Another positive development is the recent rather dramatic shift in employment among women and men over 55. According to a study by Challenger, Gray & Christmas, reported in Fortune, people over 55 have been awarded nearly 70% of the jobs created in the United States since 2010. Companies are looking for managers and professionals in particular who have the experience and demonstrated ability to weather storms like the economic chaos of recent years.

Many more women are bypassing the entire question of whether the glass is half empty or half full by starting their own firms. As I’ve written about before (e.g., “How Being Successful Can Save the Planet”), women-owned businesses are growing at an ever-increasing rate. The recent State of Women-Owned Businesses Report cites an amazing 54% growth rate in the past 15 years! This translates to annual revenue of $1.3 trillion dollars.

Add this to the spending power of women, especially women over 50, and one thing is clear—one glass isn’t even close to big enough for the tidal wave of women who will lead the way into the future for all of us.

What can we do to move these trends along even faster? Here are just a few ideas:

• Coach and mentor women to step up and out as visionaries, creating opportunities that match their gifts with what the world needs now
• Support funding efforts (including grassroots organizations like kickstarter.com) that bring women’s visionary ideas into fruition.
• Build more and strengthen existing networks of women, online and off, connecting professionals, executives, business owners, and visionaries-in-the-making of all generations.
• Recognize (and spread the word about) the measurable impact on all of us of helping women in particular to create money-making futures that matter (as detailed, again, in “How Being Successful Can Save the Planet”).

What are your ideas for supporting each other in bringing our visions to the world?

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~The Clash
“Should I Stay Or Should I Go?”

As the future gets closer, I’m accepting the fact that my old future doesn’t work anymore. So to hell with that future. What about now? The work of midlife and beyond begins with this question.

But it doesn’t stop here. Each of us will confront this question several times in the years ahead.

Which is why Power is in the Now! We can harvest opportunity from crisis, but first we have to take a step back and do some ruthless soul-searching: How did this happen? How did I get here? Where am I headed and is it still where I want to end up? Doing so will engage us from the depths, as it takes courage and demands transparency. It’s the only way to regain our own audacity of hope.

Many of us are caught in shock—with despairing paralysis threatening from the sidelines. Some of us are hiding out in isolation, either licking our wounds or processing, not sure what to do next. Others are gestating and concocting.

As with any maturation curve, as one phase winds out, another is already in progress. Knowing when to leap from one to the other will determine your trajectory.

Midlife crisis can come at any time, even more than once—from age 35 to 70, give or take a year or two! For many of us, our midlife malaise is colliding with our new reality. In the midst of an identity crisis, we are being forced to ask some hard, fundamental questions and to re-examine who we are and where we best fit. Don’t be lulled into “mission drift,” because mid-career turns into late career really fast.

This intense exploration isn’t only career related. Every facet of our life comes under scrutiny: from the bedroom to the boardroom. What we thought we wanted or needed is changing, either because we are up against a wall or because we are choosing to get ahead of the curve of change. And just when we think we have “it,” it will morph yet again.

The unfortunate truth is that most of us choose unhappiness over uncertainty. But nothing is certain except death, so embrace uncertainty and make it work for you.

We have no choice but to redesign our “now” and renegotiate everything.

Most of all we need to take a breath and get here now! Soon enough our “now” will be past tense.

This is a time for great reflection and truth telling. Some of us, like my husband and me, are getting real. No longer just talking about it, or getting stuck in fantasies of our youth, we are making hard choices and sacrifices so we can keep on keepin’ on. We are not alone in our search for meaningful futures that work.

Jackie is a perfect example. She’s not only a young boomer, age 45, but also smack in mid-career. Not quite a senior partner, but well past being junior. When we met, she was at a real low point. She had just divorced and was thankful no kids were involved. Work was just that—work. Being a traveling executive, she’d find ways to slip below the radar, just getting by. But it wasn’t good enough anymore. Totally bored and burnt out, she was getting nowhere fast. Only happy on the tennis court or partying into oblivion on the weekends, it was time for a major revamping. She wanted a life and a career that mattered.

We concocted a plan that honored her desire to move on while doing a thorough inventory assessment of which skills she still needed to hone before taking off. Our goal was to leverage this time with her current firm, so she could leave with accolades and a resume that would jump off the page. We never lost sight of where Jackie is headed. Once she realized that she didn’t have to stay forever, her productivity went off the charts. Now even in this severe downturn, she is THE woman, keeping business on the books and opening up new doors she never thought possible.

Now is the time. . . . Which is it for you? Unhappiness or uncertainty?

Working the Power in the Now might mean staying on or it might mean taking the grand leap into the unknown. Gauge your tolerance level for the uncertain. Risk taking in these times is not for the faint hearted. But for those at the helm or for those who have an in-demand specialty, and even for those still singing the blues ’cause they can’t get any satisfaction, this may be your time to rock on out.

Since it’s no longer a sure thing that tomorrow will be better than today, isn’t it time to harness your promise and redirect your energies so you can honestly answer: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

2009 was the year disaster came my way. It started by quitting my job to salvage a marriage of 19 years. By midyear I divorced, left the state, and had half the assets my husband and I stringently built, never expecting to divorce. My grandfather died in July. I suffered a health issue Thanksgiving Day. My father suffered an injury that left him severely brain damaged. Let’s not forget the economic turmoil and I was 45 years old, unemployed, and in a new state (geographical as well as mental mindset).

It was tough to bounce back after the last half of 2009. While I did everything right on the outside to deal with the loss, inside was where the storm raged.

For 3 years.
During those years, I battled what I thought was the biggest obstacle to my success: introversion. I attended up to 5 networking events per week, within a 150 mile radius to build awareness for my business.

Growth occurred externally, but internally, I continued to grieve all I lost in 2009. While I blamed myself for much of the sorrow, I was also guilty of waiting for things to improve on their own.
It wasn’t until my mother, still grieving the loss of her husband (who was in a semi-vegetative state) said, “Nothing every goes right for our little family.”
“That’s not true!” I insisted. When she asked me to prove it, however, I couldn’t. We had been so locked in our negative mindset that growth and peace continued to evade us. The dark clouds still hovered and I was appalled by my negativity. I could have done something to end the storm.

Blowing the Clouds Away

It started with a smile. A soul-deep smile that radiated throughout the body. A smile that would attract people rather than keep them at a distance.
Next, I sought positivity in the past tragedies and applied it to the growth and opportunity in the present. With these tools, smiling became easier and I didn’t feel so mentally weighed down.

Glimpses of Light

The Universe observed my activity. It wasn’t going to immediately give me a thumbs-up and lay out a shiny red carpet in front of me. Nope. It tested me. A new lead backed out at the last minute. A client wasn’t pleased with my services. I got bronchitis. Twice. My laptop died. I was tempted to slip back into the storm, but moved forward instead.
Then tiny things happened. I slept better. Clients sent referrals. Migraines diminished. My blog took on new life as I focused on entrepreneurship and life after 50.
My rebrand progressed until Dad died November 2015. There were a few related setbacks but they didn’t hold me for long.
Until June 2017. I lost my two largest clients due to budget cuts and suddenly had no money coming in. This was a huge trial for me, but I kept going.

The Results of a Positive Mindset

The gloom faded quickly.
The storm didn’t infect other aspects of life.
Opportunities were easier to identify.
Additionally, I could dedicate myself fully to my rebrand without other projects competing for my time and attention.
Armed with these super powers, I got back to business with fire and determination. In under 2 months I got published in 6 online publications and was ASKED to become associate editor for Boomalally magazine.
Lessons learned:
Blow the clouds away.
Believe in yourself.
Trust yourself.
Test your limits and push past them.
Take risks.
Ignore the naysayers
Abandon the self-pity. It only gives others the opportunity to race past you.
Don’t waste another minute. Too much has already been wasted.
Make every moment count.
Furthermore, SMILE!
Recently, my mother sent a text message saying she’s having a burst of happiness. When I encouraged her to have more, she said, “I’m not normally a positive person, so I’m sure you have something to do with it.”
That certainly made me smile.
Are you ready to smile again? You’ll quickly discover that a positive mindset is contagious.
Kristen Edens
Managing Midlife

Kristen Edens is a content and brand development specialist for business. She is the founder of the Managing Midlife blog and covers topics of finance, second acts, and caregiving for the Sandwich Generation. Her writing has been featured at Business.com, Booming Encore, Small Business Monthly, St. Louis Women’s Journal, Missouri SourceLink, Better After 50, and Thrive Global. Her latest adventure is becoming the associate editor and oracle of inspiration for Boomalally, a magazine dedicated to those celebrating a life well lived after 50.

The Sunday before Thanksgiving my husband, Steven, and I went to a local grocery store for a few last-minute, but by no means necessary items, to include in our holiday food preparations.

In front of me on the checkout line was a woman who had on what probably was her “Sunday best” coat. She was obviously on her way home from church, since there was a bible on top of her handbag in the child seat of her shopping cart. She was somewhat bent over, struggling to walk and using the cart for balance.

Her grocery order was four sweet potatoes, three tomatoes and one zucchini squash. When she got to the cashier, she asked the young man to weigh three of the potatoes (they added up to seventy-six cents), then added the fourth. Did the same with the tomatoes; weighed two then added the third. Finally, she asked him to put it all together. She had a one-dollar bill clutched in one hand and a bunch of change in her other hand. When she looked at the total, she asked the young man to take one of the potatoes out. She counted out all of her money and still was eight cents short. By this time I’m digging into the bottom of my handbag where I toss loose change, like it doesn’t count for anything much. The young man comes up with a nickel and I added my (big deal, huh) three cents. And, for eight cents the woman thanked us profusely. As she was gathering herself up, I whispered to the young man to put the fourth potato on my order and give it to her. That cost all of twenty-seven cents! The woman asked God to bless us both and made her way out of the store.

I was so undone by this encounter. I had a bag of red licorice Twizzlers in my cart that cost more than this woman’s entire order. That evening I sent an email message to our three grown children and their families to let them know that there is nothing that either their dad or I want, need or have to have for the holidays. I asked them to please make a donation to a local food bank or food kitchen in our name instead of getting us gifts. Each one replied by asking us to do the same for them—guess we did something right growing them up.

Just a small encounter, and an “in my face” example of what happens when our government policies and actions take away support for our most needy and vulnerable people. People were generous during Thanksgiving food drives. But what happens during the rest of the year? One of my daughters asked me why I didn’t give the woman at least a twenty-dollar bill. In retrospect, the only thing that I can think of is that I was so taken back and transfixed at the time that it didn’t even occur to me.

That evening my husband made a donation to the New York Food Bank and I did the same for Connecticut. Neither of us knew what the other was doing. We’re going to need to remember to keep that up throughout the year and hope others will do the same.

During the summer months it’s easy to forget that basic human needs are not season but daily. I encourage you to remember that and think how you can serve and or give in a small or large way. Whatever you feel inclined to do I know will make a LARGE difference in the recipients life.

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