Happy Holiday Season!

Everyone wants long term success. But it is elusive for most.

Long term success is dependent on knowing where you are now and where you are headed. Then closing the gap. Frequently. Continuously.  Whether it’s your business, your career or your life at home., it’s easy to get off track, lose touch or get buried under. Without a true sense of where you are in the moment, it is impossible to realize your dreams or be a leader in your field.

Re-calibrate your profound knowledge

The only way we can take 100% responsibility for sustaining our success is to keep re-calibrating-in every aspect of our lives and organizations.

Key to successful recalibration is to acquire what my dear departed mentor, Dr. W. Edwards Deming, coined as Profound Knowledge. This umbrella phrase emphasizes understanding change and how to measure it, being aware of emerging trends and shifts, and learning how to apply this knowledge to leading and sustaining long term success.

Bottom line: If we don’t acquire Profound Knowledge we cannot know how to prepare for and leverage coming change, thus how to sustain our success long term.

Understanding change means understanding shifts in our personal world as well as tracking trends that capsize us, overtake us, or cause us to flounder.

Learning the Hard Way

Unfortunately one of my Gen X male clients learned this the hard way. A rising star in his field and recently married, he was planning far a great future for his kids, tons of time for fun and all the trappings of success. As if out of the blue, the rug got pulled out from under him. His “Happy Homemaker” wife fled, saying I’m out of here!

Somewhere along the way there was a breakdown or perhaps many small fissures below the surface. Had they been recalibrating an checking in with each other, communicating the truth of what was so for each of them…perhaps they could have saved their marriage…or at least ended it with love, grace, and forgiveness.

Even in the most secure relationships, unexpected change happens to ruffle our plans. A recently returned to work mother of teenage kids reported that her new career is now going gangbusters and she no longer worries about the empty-nest . But, the new ripple in her life is that her once very successful husband, in his late 40’s, now faces an unknown future. Surprised by the shifts in his industry, “suddenly” he and his business partner are facing the probability of closing their doors. What once appeared to be the sure path to their dreams, is no crumbling beneath them.

Change is inevitable. If you can learn what Profound Knowledge is and apply it you can avoid these same pitfalls and NOT LEARN THE HARD WAY!

What steps are you going to take to future cast your long term success?

Then in the 60s, the boomers turned this notion on its head, and the mantra flipped to not trusting anyone over 30.

Now, with boomers clearly over 30 themselves, we are poised on the brink of another transformation in perspective. But as stories like Helen Hatton’s (here) show, that transformation doesn’t have to be a return to the past. We are at a time when we can choose mutual respect and intergenerational cooperation. A time when everyone can be seen and heard.

As I talked about in another post, We The People;, this form of cooperation isn’t in and of itself new. We’ve always relied on it to varying degrees, although I think it is safe to say that today, people younger and older than ever before are now a regular part of any form of intergenerational effort. We’ve always had child prodigies as well as remarkable achievers late in life, but only in modern times are we actively bringing the very young and the very old into the conversation—in science and technology, business, politics, art.

Science fairs, internships, and online presentations put the very young in touch with real-world opportunities. Now, the reverse of this is coming true for the other end of the age continuum, as Helen Hatton discovered when she teamed up with her son to bring her crafts store online. As more and more business and governments are discovering as they gear up to re-envision the aging population as vital, active, productive workers, leaders, and innovators for decades to come.

The lines we have carefully drawn between age groups are blurring. As we can see from this article (here), technology is no longer a symbol of the great divide between the generations, as people over 50 become the fastest growing group of social media users, increasing their presence on Facebook by 84% between 2009 and 2011. In fact, women over 65 alone increased their presence on Twitter by a whopping 96% during that time.

Some say that this spells the demise of these media as the younger generations pull out, not wanting “their news feed cluttered up with their parents’ news,” but this prediction ignores two key trends: (1) social media is evolving to be so individualized that no one can clutter your newsfeed but yourself—you choose entirely what and whom you wish to see; and (2) social media, and society as a whole, is becoming more interest-based, with other factors, such as age, being irrelevant. Just as AutoCAD software can’t tell the difference between the 70-year-old architect and the 20-year-old engineer using it to draft buildings of the future, the 95-year-old lab tech and the 10-year-old who discovered a molecule aren’t going to leave a beloved chemistry Facebook group because of the other’s age.

It’s the chemistry that matters.

No transformation is inevitable, however. I see the signs of this trend developing, but life and society can change on a dime. But I believe this is a trend worth developing, that it’s time we reach out across generations and work together based on common interests. A future that has a place for all of us is one with fewer artificial barriers (such as those based on age, gender, race, and class stereotypes) and more genuine connections.

Again, it’s the chemistry that matters. Together, we can discover more than “just” a new molecule. We can discover, we can create, new worlds.

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All over the world, people are working past the usual retirement ages. In some cases, this is due to the minimum age rising, and in others, people need or want the income, the security. But, as I’ve discussed before (e.g., The Retirement Age Myth), many people are continuing to work because they want to, because being 65, 70, 80, even 90 is not the same today as it once was. The idea of retiring at 65 today often feels as foreign as it would feel to a 45-year-old.

This trend is not going to go away, especially as more and more boomers approach and pass retirement age, whatever that age may end up being.

All over the media, we see constant discussion about the possible growing rift between the generations as younger people are (or simply feel they are) being edged out of the workforce by the over-65 crowd. Many take for granted as fact that every person who chooses not to retire is essentially taking a job from a younger person.

Yet this is not always true.  A  Bloomberg article quotes Eric Thode, senior expert at the research institute Bertelsmann Stiftung, who points out that countries like Germany and Sweden, which “have high rates of senior employment[,] also have high rates of youth employment. . . . Other countries fail both groups.”

Experienced workers are also filling positions that younger workers are not qualified for simply because they haven’t had the time to build the necessary skills, experience, and specialized knowledge. On the other hand, there certainly is a growing trend in hiring people over 60 for retail and similar jobs because of the perception that they will be more responsible than a younger employee. Even if they require a higher wage, the savings in training costs alone, a problem plaguing high-turnover service jobs, can be worth it.

But even with all of this in mind, focusing on ways to get more people to retire, under the belief that this will free up jobs for subsequent generations, is a mistake. Even if it were realistic, which it’s not (as I note above—eschewing retirement is a trend that will only continue to grow), increasing the numbers of people receiving retirement benefits would offset the possible gains in youth employment.

So what can we do about this situation, particularly about the possibility of increasing conflict and distance among generations over perceived and real job competition?

First, we need to communicate with each other about it. This seems obvious, but how often do the generations really talk about this situation with each other? It tends to get talked about through politicians and the media rather than in collaborative, hands-on, deliberately multigenerational conversations.

These conversations are crucial not only to get our fears and perceptions out in the open but also to clear up the misconceptions that can lead us all to make decisions based on incorrect information or assumptions.

Second, we need to explore alternative solutions together based on the probable future, not the past. Yes, social security was an effective solution to many problems that stemmed from the Great Depression, and it continues to be a necessary element in our economy, but pursuing ways to once again push millions of post-65 people out of the workforce is not going to work. Being 65 today is not even close to what it was in that era.

Third, we should look at generational partnerships, such as job sharing/mentorship arrangements that enable two people to be employed instead of one, enable training costs and salary to combine, stretching a company’s dollar and quickening the pace at which younger employees can gain the skills, knowledge, and some of the experience they need to be more valuable to that company and in the marketplace. These could work with a shifting percentage of time, starting with the mentor working 3/4 of the job, then gradually decreasing to 1/2, then 1/4, with an ultimate shift into mentoring another employee or into a consultant arrangement.

Which brings me to my fourth and final point (in this post, anyway). We need to encourage people over 60 (and in fact over 40 and 50) to remain employed by starting their own businesses. These could be simple solopreneur operations or larger operations that would not only remove the competition for the same job between two generations, it would generate employment.

As I’ve talked about many times before, the future of the marketplace (and the world) lies in the rapidly growing values-based business model. More and more people are spending their money consciously, choosing to buy from companies who are making a difference in the world over those who aren’t, and more often than not, these are small women-led businesses.

People, organizations, and governments need to focus on encouraging experienced professionals and executives, especially women, to start businesses with a strong focus on the Triple Bottom Line—people, planet, profits. In this way, we can solve or at least ameliorate multiple societal problems simultaneously through the specific social missions of these companies as well as their effect on the job market, offering a way for all generations to make a living and a difference, and to secure their future and that of the world for generations to come.

Amazon #1 Best Seller Author of 11 books including The Ageless Way, Gray is the New Green, Visionaries Have Wrinkles, The Greatness Challenge and more.

I’ve talked before about presence, what it is and why it’s important to develop, (see “Unwrapping Your Presence”). The first steps in developing this presence are asking the right questions, then opening yourself up to listening to the answers from the visionary voice inside you. These answers (or more and better questions) might come from within, but they can also come from messengers and symbols in your outer world that resonate with that voice. The important thing is that you open up as many conduits for that voice, for these messengers and symbols, as you possibly can, preferably with guidance from other visionaries. (Read more about this in “Stop, Look, and Listen.”)

This process is holistic, bringing together your body, soul, and mind in synchronicity. Presence is itself visceral. It isn’t a head trip but a physical embodiment of your Soul Speak. Even the visionary within resides in your body, connecting soul with its vessel. When you start hearing that voice and seeing messengers and symbols all around you, don’t be surprised if you feel the truth of what you’re receiving deep in your belly. There’s a reason for the saying “I feel it in my gut.”

That’s the inner feminine rising within you, the intuitive wisdom that your visionary voice embodies. Women and men have this aspect, but in women, it’s closer to the surface and often easier to access. But the inner masculine plays a role in this process as well, supporting the inner feminine, again for both women and men. (For more information about these aspects and archetypes, see Carl Jung.) As you work on asking the right questions and opening your soul and body to the answers, to that visionary voice, you can take the next step and start opening up your mind, gathering the knowledge that will feed the insight you gain.

Begin doing your homework, the research in the outer world that your inner world needs to process for you to ultimately make your vision reality. If you are focusing on your career or business, research the market, emerging trends, new business models and practices, technology, visionary leaders and companies, and gaps in what the world needs that business has yet to fulfill, or fulfill adequately.

If you are focusing on reinventing retirement, research what others are doing and where, flexible arrangements with companies or nonprofits that enable you to focus your energy and time the way you want, or entrepreneurial opportunities that would enable you to fulfill your soul’s purpose and make a difference, while still making a profit.

If you are seeking to make changes in your personal life—a move, a renewed focus on relationships, more travel, or more time and energy devoted to new or neglected meaningful pursuits—research places, social opportunities, logistics, and personal growth resources (such as this blog!). For all of the above and more, consider what skills you will need to learn and develop to make the most of whatever opportunities you will eventually pursue.

Now is not the time to draw definite conclusions or make decisions. Not just yet. The purpose of this information gathering is to give your visionary something to work with and to fine-tune the messengers and symbols you receive. Continue the inner work of asking questions and developing conduits for your visionary voice. By consciously getting your inner feminine and inner masculine to work together, you are on the path to creating a future that works—for yourself, your community, your world.

What knowledge do you need to gather to feed your visionary voice?

Warren Buffet’s article in Fortune could not be more spot on about why women and men should both care about gender equality in business.

No manager operates his or her plants at 80% efficiency when steps could be taken that would increase output. And no CEO wants male employees to be underutilized when improved training or working conditions would boost productivity. So take it one step further: If obvious benefits flow from helping the male component of the workforce achieve its potential, why in the world wouldn’t you want to include its counterpart?

Fellow males, get onboard. The closer that America comes to fully employing the talents of all its citizens, the greater its output of goods and services will be. We’ve seen what can be accomplished when we use 50% of our human capacity. If you visualize what 100% can do, you’ll join me as an unbridled optimist about America’s future.

Add to this the evidence that women in leadership and on boards increase profitability and gender equality is clearly a no-brainer.

So why on earth do we still have such a wide gender gap in the workforce, not only in pay but in numbers of women in leadership, in politics, in male-dominated fields, such as STEM?

Part of this is the time it takes for systems to change, even when the majority is on board with making the change. But an even larger part is that these systems don’t exist in a vacuum. They are part of a larger culture in which women are still objectified and considered less than.

Women are still blamed for being raped. Politicians continue to assault women’s rights to their own bodies and even to their own right to live. Sexism and misogyny are so ingrained in our patriarchal culture that even women raised to believe in their own equality and worth can’t escape the self-doubt that stems from an endless barrage of cultural messages telling them otherwise.

So even when we get our own businesses shipshape, operating at 100%, those businesses still float in the larger sea of our culture, where the waters are rough and women are still too often afraid to make waves.

We need to fight for and implement practices that equalize the workplace, especially in our own businesses, but let’s not kid ourselves that our work stops there. We need to fight for equality in politics, in our communities, in the very language we use when we talk about women, about ourselves.

We need nothing short of a sea change.

In what ways do you act in your life and work to change our culture for women?

Yet this impulse has a potential downside. Sometimes in our rush to do, we don’t stop long enough to just be, to truly figure out what matters and whether the actions we are taking will lead us toward our vision—whether the actions themselves are meaningful.

Consider the plight of many retirees, who suddenly lose their sense of self when they are no longer working. They are advised to keep busy, to do, but for many, this isn’t enough. Part of the problem is how they define who they are, but part of the problem is that just doing for the sake of doing is hollow. Doing is intended to be a means to an end, but at all ages in this culture, it too often becomes an end in itself.

Of course, taking action is essential to creating the future we envision, but ideally every action we take should be meaningful and completely in sync with our inner visionary voice. This isn’t possible if we don’t take the time to just be so we can center ourselves and listen to that voice without distraction. By taking time to be still, we can become more in tune with the flow of our lives, other people, and the world, and through this, we can develop the deep knowing we need to inform our next steps. With this knowing, the steps we take will leave a lasting imprint for generations to come. As Frank Sinatra sang, “Do be do be do.”

What can you do to incorporate time to just be in your everyday life and work?

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I have discussed the importance of strengthening and creating intergenerational relationships, but usually, I’m talking about the relationships between boomers and the younger generations, the X’s and the millennials. One important connection, however, for boomer women in particular, is with the generation of matures, those women who are in their 70s and 80s right now, many of the first feminists who are also among the first to transition from work to “retirement” and to benefit from our increasing longevity.

How are they making this transition? What can we learn from those who are happy and healthy in their 70s and beyond?

I recently heard about the website 70candles.com, run by Ellen Cole (75) and Jane Giddan (76), as a place for women around 70 (approaching it or past it) to share their experiences, their hopes and fears and insights—their stories. What have they found to be the common factors in the lives of those most happy with who they are at 70 and beyond?

• Acceptance: Women who accept who they are, age and all, are far more likely to feel happy and fulfilled. This is a challenge for boomer women, who are from a generation obsessed with youth. But to accept who you are instead of longing for the past is an essential step—at every age, really—toward finding happiness in the moment. This doesn’t mean resigned to who you are. It means celebrating the wisdom, experience, and freedom of being an older woman—even reveling in being an old lady, or being one of my favorite terms, a Crone. Taking back the original meaning of the term, which was not a witch or a hag but a wise and powerful woman living above age, and helping others at the various crossroads of life.
• Connection: Without exception, the happiest women are those with a strong social network. As we age, we lose people—friends, spouses, colleagues. This makes it even more crucial for us to create and strengthen our connections with other people, of all generations, as much as possible. Also key is to connect with other women in your generation so that you can share experiences, hopes and fears, with people you know will get you completely, and so you can see all that is possible by mentoring and supporting each other into the Third and Fourth Ages of life.
• Action: As I’ve discussed on this blog and in my talks many times, the idea of “retiring” is an antiquated concept. And this is not just the view of boomers heading into the traditional retirement age in an economy that won’t allow many to retire. The generation ahead has already discovered this secret, that regardless of the economy, true fulfillment in your 60s, 70s, and beyond comes from continuing to live, to be active. This doesn’t necessarily mean working a full-time job. It can mean part-time work, consulting, community activism and volunteering, or starting a business on your own terms. It can and should be adapted to who you are specifically, not who you are supposed to be. But whatever “it” is for you, keep doing it!

What are your secrets to happiness and fulfillment as you age? How about the women you admire who are blazing this trail ahead of you? If you imagine yourself at age 70 and 80 and 90, what does that look like? Who are you and what are you doing?

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Many of us are waiting. We’re playing it safe, not taking any risks, putting off our next big steps, the transformations we long to make in our lives and work, until the winds of global economic change die down. We’ve locked the doors, boarded up the windows, and headed down into the basement.

But the problem is that boarded-up windows not only keep the winds from coming in, they keep us from seeing out—we close off our perspective, our ability to see the big picture. The problem is that sometimes playing it safe and sticking with the status quo is the most unsafe choice we can make.

When we finally venture out from our basements and tentatively open our doors, we are likely to see a different world out there, one created and reshaped by the people who didn’t hide away, who instead realized that the only way to survive was to start planning the rebuilding process before the structure collapsed, not after.

We are likely to find that the place we held in the old world, that we so desperately tried to protect, no longer exists. And because we weren’t part of creating the new world, we also weren’t part of creating and ensuring our place in it.

Now I’m not suggesting that you just abandon everything and throw yourself out into the storm. If you are an executive or business owner, you need to start preparing to lead change by figuring out exactly what that means and how you can stay ahead of the curve of change without abandoning what already works in your organization.

If you are not financially ready to start that new business you’ve been longing to start, quitting your job today isn’t the answer. But as I’ve said before, the choice isn’t either/or. It isn’t either you stay at an unfulfilling job or you risk everything and start your business. The choice is both/and.

Stay at the job while you take concrete steps toward starting your business, going beyond just dreaming about it. Commit to taking action every day to build it, and taking into account the bigger world picture as you do: The world is undergoing an epochal shift. Build your business based on what the world needs and will need, based on likely trends as well as the changes you want to see in the world. If you build your future assuming it will look like the past, your business will be obsolete before you even open its doors. In fact, the business of the future might not even have doors, not the way we’ve always thought of them anyway.

Waiting on the world to change is the riskiest move we could ever make—not because it won’t, but because it will.

Young hearts can go their way.
Can’t put it off another day.
I don’t care what others say.
They say we don’t listen anyway.

Time has come today.
Hey.

Time.
Now the time has come. Time.
There are things to realize. Time.
Time has come today. Time.
Time has come today. Time.

Time. Time. Time. Time….

~The Chambers Brothers
“Time Has Come Today”

Making big relocation changes in midlife is very different than it was in my youthful 20s, 30s, and 40s. Reality dictates: Time is a diminishing asset. It always has been. I just didn’t get that truth in the same way as I did when I turned 50. Now in my 60s, it’s my daily contemplation. In our youth it’s not such a big deal to change our minds and move on . . . even to return again. Now I feel an urgency to dig in and make my new home base home. But caution rules since I want to limit the number of mid- and later life relocations ahead. I’m not looking for where to retire, but where and how to live my greatest life yet. I know I’m not alone in this pursuit.

Is this up for you too?

When I’m in the midst of a major shift, it’s terribly important to listen to all my inner rumblings as well as the facts. I have to avoid getting intoxicated by what I want versus staying conscious of what is so. Thankfully my dreamtime has been rich. My body’s truth verifiers have been alerting me to when I’m drained and when I’m juiced. More importantly, I’m noticing what causes each. It’s such a visceral transition, whether you are just starting in your 40s or fully engaged in your 60s or 70s . . . and beyond.

Too much either/or can really bring me down. I’ve been watching my duality struggle play out before my eyes. In my middle years I yearned for my quiet time in nature, reconnecting with deep soul currents within. Being virtual and near an airport, it worked. I never expected this quest would be not only restorative but also transformative.

With the clarity of a newbie, I realized that I want to continue feeling awe every day and to breathe deeply. Nature here in Litchfield County and in the western desert feeds me. Tribe and vibe have always been important to me—now as I age, they are even more so. My nagging conundrum: How do I get the vibe, the tribe, and nature too?! Suddenly it became crystal clear. Not to worry. I can continue to have both/and versus living in either/or. There’s no rush but time itself.

True to my always being on the cusp, as I move between later midlife and early elderhood, I still want to keep accomplishing and making sure we live independently as we grow older. But more than ever before, what I do has to matter and make a huge difference in how you and I move into our collective and personal futures. Esteemed gerontologists and developmental experts like the late Erik Erikson refer to this midlife task as moving from “stagnation into generativity,” and in later midlife and beyond, into “ego integrity” as wisdom keepers. For me it’s all about moving from success into significance . . . leaving our footsteps in the sands of time for generations to come.

Every year, my time out west brings blessings far beyond my expectations. I am constantly in a state of attraction at warp speed. My new Tribe keeps showing up. I’ve re-met high school friends I haven’t seen in decades. I’ve met others whom I know will be new longtime friends and colleagues.

As I told a group of new colleagues, I’m the “wandering crone in the desert seeking my tribe.” Thank goodness they laughed with me. It is a big thing to own “her” publicly. But what became sharply apparent is how important finding my Tribe really is for me.

Synchronicity is my friend big time in Arizona. Doors keep opening without my saying “Open, Says Me.” Everywhere I go, my reflection as elder is mirrored back to me. Questions I posed years ago, before boomers were ready to hear them, were now on the lips of the folks I met. Experienced seekers and accomplished professionals are asking not only, What’s next?, but also how to make the big shifts in their middle and later years.

As a “Crone-in-training” for many years, it appears I’ve now arrived solidly in early Elderhood. Now that is a big shift! Back in my Connecticut office, I dusted off tons of material I’d relegated to the top shelves in my file room, marked “SAVE for the Right Time.” I’m now being called back to Arizona, bringing forth a new book, Visionaries Have Wrinkles, keynotes, and workshops so we can create the future together in a whole new way.

With so much shifting going on for all of us, time is of the essence to get our energies lined up with our intentions so that we can create the results we envision for our greater future.

What are your big shifts?