“Solitude is fine but you need someone to tell that solitude is fine.” ~ Honoré de Balzac

In my June 22, 2015 Ageless Beat blog, “Alone Doesn’t Mean Lonely….” I spoke about how we all may experience loneliness and, though it may seem ironic, sometimes it’s beneficial to spend time alone doing something nurturing to ease that sense.

In addition to finding comfort on your own, another way to overcome loneliness is by spending time with each other. There are many ways to find community and connection, whether you prefer the company of one other or many others. Below are some of the ways I have learned (and helped coaching clients) to diminish any suffering that can accompany the feeling of loneliness.

~ Make time and be fully present to nurture current relationships you feel are worth keeping, and consider letting go of those which are draining or negating. It’s easy to know which are which, just check in with your very real body messengers and trust your gut. Rather than e-mailing/texting, experiment with having more interactions over the phone (or Skype or Facetime with those at a distance) or, better yet, meet in person.

If it wasn’t for today’s technology I’d have no real relationship with my new grandkids living in Arizona. It’s the same even with my two elementary school grandkids here in the east. When they are involved with sports and birthday parties or I am engaged in business and travel, which prevent our biweekly visits, Facetime saves the day.

~ Consider volunteering. Whether you like working with animals or are seeking human interaction, volunteering for an organization (or giving in another way, like cooking a meal for someone in need) can be a great way of being with others while also doing something philanthropic.

~ Become active with an organization or group to meet others while engaging in fulfilling activities, such as: classes in exercise, art, quilting or crocheting, music, history, geography, technology, business, etc.; book groups; environmental, religious, political organizations or a professional group of your peers. MeetUp.com is one online way to find groups. Local newspapers and magazines often list events that may interest you.

~ If you are online, you can check out websites like Boomerly.com, which offer a means to connection for like-minded friends and travel companions, as well as potential romantic partners. Don’t forget your LinkedIn groups and expanding your connections on Facebook and others.

~ Check out retreats with your favorite guru or authors. Join a women’s group or a yoga center.

~ Make an appointment to speak with a ICF certified coach, licensed therapist or clergy.

~ How often do you interact with different generations? This can be a great way to inspire new connections and insights. Create an intergenerational group in your local community center or offer mentoring within your company or professional organization. Go to concerts where younger people abound.

~ Participate in online conversations like this one – offer your comments and suggestions below and let’s make this journey on The Ageless Way even better!!

The world is full of others who are seeking others… The more all of us explore, the better chance we all have of finding each other and reducing loneliness and becoming happier AND healthier.

 How would you describe what loneliness feel like? What techniques do you use to cope with, or overcome your loneliness?

(Image Credit: circle of friends by maveric2003, flickr.com)

Have any of you been through a recent change or loss which transformed your role in and/or perspective about life and your future?

With graduations, weddings, and kids going off to camp, college, or on a global trek — all marker events which reach a crescendo at this time of year — many of us find ourselves on the precipice of being empty-nesters or on our own for the short or longer term. There are really no words that can adequately describe the vacuum that can engulf us when we are freshly on our own…even if we relish aspects of our new freedom. Like all things in life, there’s always a downside and upside to consider and hopefully embrace.

If you’ve had any of these experiences, even those which are positive, chances are that at some level you feared and/or felt a sense of loneliness.

According to Dr. Sanjay Gupta, in his article Loneliness Can Really Hurt You, “Loneliness is an invisible epidemic that affects 60 million Americans. Everyone feels lonely at times in their lives, but chronic loneliness poses a serious health risk. New research suggests that loneliness and social isolation are as much a threat to your health as obesity. As Richard Lang, MD, chair of preventive medicine at the Cleveland Clinic, puts it, people need to attend to loneliness ‘the same way they would their diet, exercise, or how much sleep they get’.”

As with other aspects of big “S” self-care, though, it can be confusing to know where to begin in order to feel better.

There are many ways we can all diminish loneliness, regardless of age or stage of life, both alone and with others.

So…let’s get this conversation started and begin at the heart of the matter — with YOU!

Being lonely is different than being alone (have you ever felt lonely despite being in a crowd of people?). It is a feeling, not a fact of life. In fact, time spent alone can often be exactly what you need to clear your mind, boost your energy and mood, engage your creativity and reconnect with your inner passions. Instead of putting yourself down (our natural default mechanism) find a way to take pleasure in some solitude.

Have you ever appreciated doing any of the following on your own?

* gardening

* walking along a beach

* painting/drawing

* meditating

* doing yoga

* journaling

* traveling

* going out for a meal or movie

These are just a few of the many ways to enjoy your own company.

A couple of weekends ago my husband was out of town for several days. In addition to chatting with friends I’d been meaning to catch up with, I filled my time reading, writing, and, in the best of my alone time, happily binge-watching a full year of Frankie and Grace on Netflix!

Sometimes simply reinforcing the connection with yourself is the best kick-start antidote to any lingering or pervasive sense of loneliness you may experience.

Do you have any other suggestions as to how we can ease loneliness when spending time alone? Let us know in the comments below!

(Also, be sure to check out Wednesday’s Ageless Beat blog when we continue this discussion about ways to assuage loneliness through connection with others… Any tips you think we should include in that (or future) blog(s)? Let me know today by sending an email to Karen@KarenSands.com or feel free to comment below!)

(Image Credit: IMG_2886 by Sudheesh Joseph, Flickr.com)

Fuel is the starting source for producing energy and, just as with our home heating systems, our bodies require fuel in order to avoid depletion and keep going. You can’t run on empty. Becoming worn out not only affects physical health, but, in a domino effect, may also place a (literal and figurative) drag on your mental, emotional, and relational well-being.

In my May 27th Ageless Beat blog, Time Out, I wrote about the value of renewing in order to de-stress and be more productive again. This week, I want to add to that by mentioning some simple tidbits and energizing options you can try right now, regardless of finances, location, age or other circumstances.

In her article, 12 Weekend Habits of Highly Successful People, Emma Rushton suggests that the most productive and prosperous among us typically view weekends as secret weapons for success. She is quick to add that the same actions can be done all week, as well, adding a quote of Aristotle’s, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

Rushton offers collected tidbits of wisdom from such famous high-powered people as Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates, Anna Wintour, Timothy Ferris, and Warren Buffet. Among their suggested practices, which can be beneficial for professional, as well as personal fulfillment, are:

* Don’t multi-task, as it reduces effectiveness. Instead, be present for each single activity.

* Stay Active as an active body is key for an active mind.

* Prioritize what’s important to keep work-life harmony in balance.

* Make time for hobbies, which make for an interesting life while also fostering creativity and relieving stress (Do you prefer Indoors? Outdoors? Participation or observation? Are you a puzzle fan? An athlete? Do you ride horses, do yoga, love to collect a particular item, enjoy reading or writing, make original crafts or models, sing, work with technology/electronics, cook, collect, keep bees, etc.?).

* Practice stillness (Since recovering from surgery, I have found this to be especially helpful, particularly while sitting in my back yard on a beautiful day as I did this past Memorial Day weekend and appreciating the added healthful benefit of viewing flowers, trees and wildlife).

* Take time to reflect and assess what works and doesn’t, which activities to continue or release, what will work best to amp up your ability to be energized and successful.

* Give back – in addition to feeling great it can help re-energize your thinking in other areas.

I would also add, give fuel to yourself … you cannot live your fullest life, or even be there for those you care about, if you are on empty. Even doing just one energy-enhancing action today can begin to make a difference.

Have you felt depleted at any time lately? What did you do to re-fuel?

(Image Credit: Statue of Buddha in meditation position, garden, View Ave NW, Seattle, Washington, USA by Wonderlane, Flickr.com)